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Song Parodies -> "Cut-Down, Crap Coalition"
Original Song Title:
"Uptown, Uptempo Woman"
Original Performer:
Randy Edelman
Parody Song Title:
"Cut-Down, Crap Coalition"
Parody Written by:
Wendy Christopher
The Lyrics
Otherwise known as 'The Ballad of Nick Clegg!' (for those of you not in the UK, the poor sap from the Lib Dems who thought he was going to get an equal shot at running the country with Big Chief Overlord Dave. Ahh...the poor naive fool...)
Yes, I have parodied this song before, but it was a pretty good fit for the subject matter so I thought I'd reuse and recycle and save a random polar bear somewhere (or something.) You can hear the original here
Yes, I have parodied this song before, but it was a pretty good fit for the subject matter so I thought I'd reuse and recycle and save a random polar bear somewhere (or something.) You can hear the original here
It started on Election Night
When we all feared the worst
Three parties all hated equally
So none of us won first
And that meant I held all the cards
Looked at Gordon Brown
And knew I couldn’t make a marriage
With such a gormless clown
So I turned to David Cameron
And tried to catch his eye
And he laughed
And said “Want a cut-down, crap coalition?
I’m your top posh Tory guy!”
We had so much in common
We were foppish and uncool
Married hot chicks somehow
And both went to public school
And if we joined together
I’d finally get the chance
To run the country, sort of
It was power AND bromance!
My Lib mates were angry
I could hear them cry
“Don’t do cut-down, crap coalition
With that brown-nosed Tory guy!”
Well I thought it would be brilliant
But I really must admit
When you’re just the Spock to Captain Kirk
It’s all a crock of shit
He gets all the credit
But all I get is blame
He buggers off on holiday
And just leaves me in the frame
And now everybody hates me
They’re saying I told lies
A cut-down, crap coalition
And I guess that’s no surprise
No-one could have realised
That I’d fall so far from grace
The country’s getting bored now
With my beat-up-puppy-face.
Now my Lib Dem mates have dumped me
They hurt me with their jeers
“We won’t get elected now
For the next five hundred years!”
So now I’m stuck with David
Who won’t give AV* a try
Dear God, why?
What a cut-down, crap coalition
I was such a stupid guy!
Stuff this cut-down, crap coalition!
Now I’m off to have a cry
When we all feared the worst
Three parties all hated equally
So none of us won first
And that meant I held all the cards
Looked at Gordon Brown
And knew I couldn’t make a marriage
With such a gormless clown
So I turned to David Cameron
And tried to catch his eye
And he laughed
And said “Want a cut-down, crap coalition?
I’m your top posh Tory guy!”
We had so much in common
We were foppish and uncool
Married hot chicks somehow
And both went to public school
And if we joined together
I’d finally get the chance
To run the country, sort of
It was power AND bromance!
My Lib mates were angry
I could hear them cry
“Don’t do cut-down, crap coalition
With that brown-nosed Tory guy!”
Well I thought it would be brilliant
But I really must admit
When you’re just the Spock to Captain Kirk
It’s all a crock of shit
He gets all the credit
But all I get is blame
He buggers off on holiday
And just leaves me in the frame
And now everybody hates me
They’re saying I told lies
A cut-down, crap coalition
And I guess that’s no surprise
No-one could have realised
That I’d fall so far from grace
The country’s getting bored now
With my beat-up-puppy-face.
Now my Lib Dem mates have dumped me
They hurt me with their jeers
“We won’t get elected now
For the next five hundred years!”
So now I’m stuck with David
Who won’t give AV* a try
Dear God, why?
What a cut-down, crap coalition
I was such a stupid guy!
Stuff this cut-down, crap coalition!
Now I’m off to have a cry
*Alternative Vote - a new system of voting in elections that's used by many other countries. Smaller, independent political parties are in favour of it because it levels the playing field and gives them more of a chance in future elections - the Tories are against it because.. well, for exactly the same reason, actually.
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User Comments
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Fantastic, Wendy. Absolutely spot on :-)
Inspirational parody, unlike no-mates-Nick who has scored nada.
Loving your work, Wendy. Brilliant and so, so true.
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