Hello
Is there anybody sitting there?
Just try another seat then.
Is there anywhere at all?
Come on, now,
There’s got to be a vacant seat.
Well, even in the back row
Gotta find myself a place
Relax.
I’ve finally found a seat now.
Got to settle down
Cause the film’s about to start.

There is a pain and I am screaming
A rusty spring rips my trousers and Y-fronts
The tears are streaming down my face.
The movie’s on but I don’t care what they’re saying.
When I sat on this seat I got a piercing.
My arse swelled up just like two balloons
Now, my God! I’m reeling in such pain
That spring is wrapped around my underpants
I can’t get up and scram.
I have an un-comfortable bum!