THE NORTH SIDE OF THE POLE (tNSotP)

4.A.
RED AND GREEN
(To "Us and Them")

Red (red red red...)
And green (green green green...)
The Christmas shows
Begin way back at Halloween (ween ween ween...)

Pills (pills pills pills...)
And booze (booze booze booze...)
The reasons why
The Grinch rou- tinely screws (screws screws screws...)
The Whos (the Whos the Whos the Whos...)

SCROOGE, THE GHOST CRIES
IN HIS ROOM
NOW HIS BED'S NOT DRYYYY

DOES SANTA EXIST?
THERE'S A MIRACLE TWIST:
JUNK MAIL TAKES HIS SIDE

Heat (heat heat heat...)
And Snow (snow snow snow...)
One Miser's one-oh-one
One's ten below (below below below...)

Fake (fake fake fake...)
Or real? (real real real...)
Ask Charlie Brown
His tree will really seal (ly seal ly seal ly seal...)
The deal (deal deal deal...)

GEORGE, SAYS HIS WIFE,
IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE
YOU'RE BEDFORD FALLS' BEST GUY

RALPHIE, SON,
WITH A RED RYDER GUN
YOU MIGHT SHOOT OUT YOUR EYE

[Piano solo]

[Background voice:
"...cheap lying no-good rotten four-flushing lowlife snake-licking dirt-eating inbred overstuffed ignorant blood-sucking dog-kissing brainless dickless hopeless heartless fat-ass bug-eyed stiff-legged spotty-lipped worm-headed sack of monkey sh..."]

[Sax solo]

Egg (egg egg egg...)
And nog (nog nog nog...)
Help Chevy Chase
Face Cousin Eddie and his dog

Cheech (Cheech Cheech Cheech...)
And Chong
And who'll deny
They've got the greatest Christmas song (bong bong bong...)

OUT OF THE WAY
THERE'S A BIG-ASS SLEIGH
THE BURGERMEISTER CRIES

AND RAISE UP YOUR GLASS
TO RANKIN AND BASS
OR RU-
DOLPH
DIES


4.B.
DMITRI, THE GAY REINDEER
(To "Any Colour You Like")

[Instrumental]
[But the video is fabulous]