"Programming's easy", the PHB said to me
It can't be hard, you just try thinking logically
It doesn't matter if you use SQL or C
There must be fifty ways to write that program

Oh, not again, I thought.. sotto voce I cursed
And wondered what I'd say if places were reversed
"It often helps to get the spec'fication first.
There may be fifty ways to write that program"
Fifty ways to write that program

First write up the spec, Dec
Make a new plan, Stan
Get screen design, Kline
It's the best guarantee
Check all your code, Toad
Make sure it compiles, Miles
And then it'll run, Hon
Ensure it's bug-free

Don't code-as-you-go, Mo
Or hack on your Mac, Zach
And NEVER goto, Hugh
Just listen to me
You can use Fortran, Dan
Or even VB, Dee
Try C++, Gus
Make sure it's bug-free

The PHB said "I am here to help you
I can explain oh, roughly what you have to do
But no, I don't know what that pointer's pointing to
Could be fifty ways..."

He said
"I'll do it by myself because I want to play
I'm sure that Access is the most professional way
To quote MS 'Where do I want to go today?'"
There must be fifty ways to write that program
Fifty ways to write that program

Won't write nothing down, clown
Won't make a plan, Stan
Just sit down and code, Bro
It's so easy for me
'Cause I'm really slick, Mick
Slap it together, Heather
I can do it so quick, Rick
It's so easy you see

Now I've done all the forms, Sean
It's almost complete, Pete
And I've finished the job, Bob
And so quick-l-lee
So you can debug, Doug
Just get it to work, Jerk
All you have to do, Lou
Is get it bug-free