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Song Parodies -> "Fifty Ways to Harm Our Country"

Original Song Title:

"Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover"

Original Performer:

Paul Simon

Parody Song Title:

"Fifty Ways to Harm Our Country"

Parody Written by:

A Room Full Of Monkeys

The Lyrics

Brought to you by Monkey Room residents Phil Alexander and Johnny D ................... By Associated Press, 8/5/2004 13:48 ..... WASHINGTON (AP) President Bush offered up a new entry for his catalog of ''Bushisms'' on Thursday, declaring that his administration will ''never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people.'' ..... Bush misspoke as he delivered a speech at the signing ceremony for a $417 billion defense spending bill. ..... ''Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we,'' Bush said. ''They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.''
The president, he speaks with awesome clarity
The meaning's obvious if you take it logic'ly
The terrorists are thinking 'bout it, so must we
There must be
Fifty ways to harm our country

He said "You see, I've got a negative I.Q.
Furthermore my bonehead bleatings make a lobster seem smart too
But I'll repeat myself,
'Cause Dick Cheney told me to
There must be
Fifty ways to harm our country
Fifty ways to harm our country."

Just drop in a nuke, Duke
A suicide bomb, Dom
Some biochem, Shem
Sa-rin is the key

Post some anthrax, Max
Or let loose some gas, Chas
It doesn't take much, Dutch
To harm our country

Jus' speak like a jerk, Dirk
Talk like a kid, Sid
Show 'em all the big void, Lloyd
In your empty skull

Piss off your friends, Clem
Be a snob on the job, Bob
Just threaten the world, Merle
And call women "girls"

He said "It grieves me so to spare my country pain,
I wish that there was some way I could screw our Amber Waves of Grain,
So Dick, I'd appreciate if, you'd kindly please explain
About the fifty ways...?"

Dick said, "Why don't you smoke some opium tonight,
And then get up good and stoned in the middle of the night,
And call a press conference, while wearing Laura's leotard and tights?"
That's one of
Fifty ways to harm our country
Fifty ways to harm our country

Just slap the tax on, Ron
Yes, do it real quick, Dick
Watch the money roll in, Colin
Oh, isn't this fun?

Deny Arabs their visa, Condoleeza
Get 'em all to vote Bush, Rush
It's Bush 1, Kerry nil, Bill
Election'll be won

Just mumble and grin, Slim
Fart everywhere, Claire
On The Charlie Rose show, Moe,
Dig deep in your nose

Pop boils with pus, Gus,
And spray Blair with what's there, Claire
Just go on TV, Lee
And kiss Dick Cheney

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   13

User Comments

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K1chyd - August 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Fort Levenworth waits, mates
You´ll be Bubba´s toys, boys
Manvirginity´s gone, John
You know that´s the drill, Phil
For slapping the tush, o'Bush
Melhi - August 07, 2004 - Report this comment
K1 is right -- there are hoods and leashes in your futures. I probably shouldn't even be fiving this, myself, but.... ;D
The Thought Police - August 07, 2004 - Report this comment
I liked this parody and so do I :)
John Barry - August 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Monkeys singing about a dumb chimp
Johnny D - August 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Here's my three 5's for Philbo's contributions!
Michael Pacholek - August 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Just reveal Bush's junks, Monks. Go on in for the kill, Phil. And I think you're right on, John, that's the man we call D. I think it'll fly, Guy. You don't have to go cry nigh. Bush'll lose really big, Hig, and set our land free. (YOU try rhyming something with "Malc.")
Claude Prez - August 08, 2004 - Report this comment
I saw this come together on the messageboard; very impressive you two.
alvin rhodes - August 08, 2004 - Report this comment
take a triple five, clive...this is absolute great jive...thanks to phil and johnny d......for your lunacy
Ashkicksass - August 09, 2004 - Report this comment
The image of Dubya in a leotard and tights made my morning. Great job guys!
martha - August 10, 2004 - Report this comment
superb stuff guys what a great team!

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