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Song Parodies -> "Fifty Ways To Be a 'Brotha'"

Original Song Title:

"Fifty Ways To Leave Your Lover"

Original Performer:

Paul Simon

Parody Song Title:

"Fifty Ways To Be a 'Brotha'"

Parody Written by:

Leo Jay

The Lyrics

For Tiger...
I got a thought-provoking letter yesterday, it's from a
Well-intentioned guy who seems to think I've lost my way, he criti-
cized the girls I date... the way I talk... the sport I play... he said I...
hardly seem to be a 'brotha'...
It read, "Excuse me, my intention's not to pry, I'm only
Writing to you 'cause you seem to be a real nice guy, I know you'll
turn this thing around, you see you only have to try, 'cause there are
Fifty ways to be a 'brotha',
Fifty ways to be a 'brotha'..."

"(You should) give up the golf, Rolf
Dump the white chick, Rick
Talk with a drawl, Paul --
and speak with more 'bass'...
Hang out with Spike, Ike
Yes, be a bit like Mike
But always look pissed, Chris
And speak out on race..."

"Shoulder a chip, Flip
Refer to 'The Man', Stan
Denounce your sport, Mort,
for being "too white..."
Wear an Afro, Joe --
Or maybe some corn rows?
And order coffee, 'G',
that's 'black' and not 'light'..."

I think that's fine, if that's what 'blackness' is for you, I think the
Problem is, diversity of images are few, he under-
states things... cause there's really many more than fifty ways...
I think a broader view's what people often lack, of what it
Means to be a Muslim, Jew, an Asian or a Black, we like to
Pigeonhole the 'types' we love, the 'types' we should attack, but there's a....
zillion ways to be a 'brotha',
zillion ways to be a 'brotha'...

(You can) date a black girl, Burl
(Or) date who you like, Ike
Date a Jewish guy, Ty
If guys are your style...
(You can) date a white actress --
(It) won't change your blackness!
Just be true to YOU, Stu --
You're 'you' for a while...

Tee up at the green, Dean
(Or) shoot a few hoops, Duke
Take up raquetball, Paul --
It's only a game...
Play some polo, Joe --
('Cause) that sport has NO 'bro's! --
Or take up hockey, Steve
And don't be ashamed...

(You can) vote 'Democrat', Nat
(Or) vote for the 'Right', Dwight
(You can) pick either side, Wyatt,
(Or) vote 'Indy' or 'Green'...
Vote who you trust, Gus --
(Yes,) vote with your conscience...
(But) whatever you do, Lou,
Just stay on the scene...

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   5

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Adagio - May 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Thought-provoking. 5's
Olvan The Terrible - May 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Funny and intelligent. But "Clyde" would have made a better rhyme than "Wyatt."
Leo Jay - May 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Yer right -- Clyde also sounds more like a brotha' (oops, stereotyping...). Thanks.
Phil Alexander - May 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Much better than I thought it was going to be, Leo... definitely a worthwhile entry in the ABCs 'F' round.
Ashkicksass - May 28, 2004 - Report this comment
Clever parody, and like Adagio said, very thought provoking. Fives all the way, Jay.
Rick D - May 28, 2004 - Report this comment
Extra points for not just repeating the chorus. And for walking that thin black line.
Arwen - May 28, 2004 - Report this comment
I had to check this out because I know Ashkicksass has such great taste in parodies...and I saw her comment. Excellent work! 5s from me!
Adagio - May 31, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) Good parody!
Leo Jay - June 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, everyone for your recent comments. Much appreciated!
Agrimorfee - June 02, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) An interesting bit of thought, Leo. 555.
Kinfuzed... - June 03, 2004 - Report this comment
What does (ABC) mean/indicate?
Agrimorfee - June 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Kinfuzed...a number of the veteran parody writers here decided to make a friendly competition of nominating their "best" parodies each month based on each letter of the alphabet...hence, it is known as "The ABC's Competition". The complete rules,nominees and votes are seen at the inthe00s messageboard under "Parody Contests". The contestants are also the voters, and make Comments as they feel necessary towards these entries with the additional tag of "(ABC)". Got it? :) We are in the middle of "F", with "G" submissions being collected right now.
M-Pac Shakur - June 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Yo, yo, yo, this parody was off the HOOK! (In other words, Michael Pacholek likes it.)
Meriadoc - June 03, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) This be excellent! ;-)
Paul Robinson - June 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Good job, Mr. Jay. 5's
Leo Jay (aka Kinfused) - June 03, 2004 - Report this comment
The significance of '(ABC)' clicked in once I went over to the message board to vote, but thanks for the explanation. Thanks, peeps, for lettin' me keep it real with this parody, yo. 'M-Pac', your pszyeudonym is the shiznit. Had me rollin', bruh.
Johnny D - June 04, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) This is very clever and slick!
martha - June 06, 2004 - Report this comment
very interesting and thought provoking .. 5s
neminem - June 06, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) 5'd, and I think you won my vote.
2nz - June 06, 2004 - Report this comment
I likes it, especially the stanza that ends with 'zillion ways to be a brotha'. However, you gotta update your brain software from that 'no mixed race stuff' bro. Black guys, many who I watch on TV and some who I know personally, have no problem dating white girls. It was done for humor, but on Chapelle's Show, Tiger Woods dating a white girl was pointed out to SUPPORT his blackness. 'Refer to the 'Man', Stan' was my fave. - June 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Great job, Lee OJ. Fave lines:
"I think a broader view's what people often lack, of what it
Means to be a Muslim, Jew, an Asian or a Black"
Poetry, baby.
Leo Jay - June 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks guys for all the recent comments. When I posted this, I wasn't sure it would get much feedback (if any), so your comments are a pleasant surprise!
Leo Jay - July 09, 2004 - Report this comment
2nz, just realized I have no idea which parody you were reading. But it wasn't mine.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - April 15, 2005 - Report this comment
I'll cull my comments to 'Some neato word play, Jay!' 555
Charlie Decker - April 16, 2005 - Report this comment
555 from a black guy who has been accused of the crimes brought up in this parody many times...
Lee Yo - May 04, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks for the recent propz, fellaz.

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