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Song Parodies -> "50 Ways To Lose Your Money"

Original Song Title:

"50 Ways To Leave Your Money"

Original Performer:

Paul Simon

Parody Song Title:

"50 Ways To Lose Your Money"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Roll back the state and let the markets take the strain
Investment bankers will be there to ease your pain
You too can pay no tax and watch your assets gain
Cos we have 50 ways to make you money

Just let your money do the work those admen say
good old honest labour nowadays just ain't the way
so buy a flat in Islington and make those tenants pay
yeah there are 50 ways to make some money

Not under the bed Ed
Gotta give it a chance- Vance
Don't stick it in the bank/ Hank
You need a high return

get a pension plan Stan
move on to a gilt/ Milt (harmony)
Why stop at a share, Claire?
You've got money to burn

ooh a nice junk bond Ron,
try an IPO Jo
A sweet index bet Chet
How can you resist?

Volatility rules Jools
You better dive right in/ Glyn(harmony)
HIT that arbitrage Marge,
You have to take the risk

but when that bubble bursts it all disintegrates
even hedge fund gurus have been known to make mistakes
and then that global market dislocation seals your fate
yeah there are 50 ways to lose your money

So long sushi bars Lars
credit's run dry Guy
don't make a fuss Gus
they've got you on the run

give up the golf Rolf
shame about the Merc/ Dirk(harmony)
are you feelin sick Nick?
It's only just begun

they repossessed the yacht Dot
better sack the maid Jade
you can't afford to pay Ray
and you were havin such fun

you'll have to sell that house Klaus
don't it break your heart/Art(harmony)
cancel all leave Steve
Your salad days are done

Now don't you get too sick or old or be downsized
Those premiums you paid may not be realised
And when you're down and out you know you'll be despised
Oh there are 50 ways to lose your money

Sign on the dole Noel
heading for the track Jack?
you can pull off a fraud Claude
you should have taken more care

run a little scam Pam
why don't you deal some weed/ Reid(harmony)
there's always the game Jane
Hey that's if you dare

But those who steal and deal will wind up doing time
And even begging soon will be defined as crime
So don't you even try to ask a brother for a dime.
Yeah we have 50 ways to lose your money

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   9

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Guy - January 31, 2004 - Report this comment
This is where losing pounds can really hurt and where exactly does the buck stop? Not bad. Saw a minor pace problem but I let you slide on it.
John Jenkins - January 31, 2004 - Report this comment
Excellent parody, MarthaDTox. But s there a Freudian slip in the title of the song you are parodying?
MarthaDTox - January 31, 2004 - Report this comment
Oh you noticed!
Joelle - February 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Great job! I found it even funnier because I'm learning to file taxes at school right now.
Martha - February 26, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Joelle You might enjoy the thread on the message(parody writing section) board and out the L word that I started ..
Sol Bro - May 24, 2004 - Report this comment
Hey, funny. Good job
Robert J. Pagliaro - May 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Different. Like Guy, I thought there was a slight pacing problem. But since he let it slide, I did too. Good work.
Jeremy from class - January 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Soo glad I found this site!
martha - January 13, 2005 - Report this comment
welcome aboard Jeremy!
Adagio - March 02, 2005 - Report this comment
(123) You really know your finance game, martha...and it is one. I enjoyed this a lot. 5's
Guy - March 02, 2005 - Report this comment
(123) See comments above. Restoring my previous 555 vote.
Charlie Decker - March 09, 2005 - Report this comment
(123) Nice one. Anybody see the SNL fake commerical for the investment firm that's been "Losing your money with class since 1923"?
Kristof Robertson - March 10, 2005 - Report this comment
(123) This is fabulous, award-winner if ever I read one! 555
Johnny D - March 11, 2005 - Report this comment
(123) So many clever lines!
Phil Alexander - March 14, 2005 - Report this comment
I liked the "yacht/dot" line most, for some reason. Missed this first time around - must be 'cause I've only just learned the tune myself.
Stuart McArthur - March 17, 2005 - Report this comment
(123) very funny martha!

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