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Song Parodies -> "Fifty Ways to P*ss off PETA"
Original Song Title:
"Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover"
Original Performer:
Paul Simon
Parody Song Title:
"Fifty Ways to P*ss off PETA"
Parody Written by:
Merry & Pippin
The Lyrics
"The problem is all a lack of lead," I said to she
A stance it is needed for to keep my weaponry
Go eat some kelp or just go huggle up a tree
There must be fifty ways to p*ss off PETA
I said I really don't consider soy a food
As for fur, a God conserving'd not have made us in the nude
Said I eat meat for health and she briskly came unglued
There must be fifty ways to p*ss off PETA
Fifty ways to p*ss off PETA
Have sea otter snacks, Max
Bake a Babe ham, Sam
Make a spotted owl pie, Guy
It's very tasty
Dolphin's a must, Gus
There's no need to cuss such!
Serve chopped manatee, Lee
It's calorie free
Oh, skin a few mink, Mick
Club a small seal, Neil
Now don't have a cow, Sal
'Cus it's leatheretty
Harpoon a whale, Dale
You don't need a rare snail trail!
Just buy ivory, Dee
On the black markety
She said it grieves me so to think those quaggas slain
I wish there was something I could do to make dodos live again
I said "Don't appreciate cats, so would you please restrain
away your shifty strays?"
She said Bonsai kitten folks just keep me in a fright
And I'm relieved that with warnings our petitions set them right
Tried to enlist me, and I realized she was some brain cells light
There must be fifty ways to p*ss off PETA
Fifty ways to p*ss off PETA
Sew a guinea pig stole, Joel
Catch a big shark, Clark
Drink a treefrog milkshake, Jake
Let Ted Nugent be
Oh you shop for fur muffs, Duff
Those chinchillas don't cost much
It's her annivers'ry, see
It's very styley
Eat condor eggs fried, Clyde
Make a roo rug, Doug
You catch lots of rare fish, Trish
Set none of them free
Stun a raccoon, June
Well all under a full moon
Fur's very pricey, see
But nice and cuddly......
A stance it is needed for to keep my weaponry
Go eat some kelp or just go huggle up a tree
There must be fifty ways to p*ss off PETA
I said I really don't consider soy a food
As for fur, a God conserving'd not have made us in the nude
Said I eat meat for health and she briskly came unglued
There must be fifty ways to p*ss off PETA
Fifty ways to p*ss off PETA
Have sea otter snacks, Max
Bake a Babe ham, Sam
Make a spotted owl pie, Guy
It's very tasty
Dolphin's a must, Gus
There's no need to cuss such!
Serve chopped manatee, Lee
It's calorie free
Oh, skin a few mink, Mick
Club a small seal, Neil
Now don't have a cow, Sal
'Cus it's leatheretty
Harpoon a whale, Dale
You don't need a rare snail trail!
Just buy ivory, Dee
On the black markety
She said it grieves me so to think those quaggas slain
I wish there was something I could do to make dodos live again
I said "Don't appreciate cats, so would you please restrain
away your shifty strays?"
She said Bonsai kitten folks just keep me in a fright
And I'm relieved that with warnings our petitions set them right
Tried to enlist me, and I realized she was some brain cells light
There must be fifty ways to p*ss off PETA
Fifty ways to p*ss off PETA
Sew a guinea pig stole, Joel
Catch a big shark, Clark
Drink a treefrog milkshake, Jake
Let Ted Nugent be
Oh you shop for fur muffs, Duff
Those chinchillas don't cost much
It's her annivers'ry, see
It's very styley
Eat condor eggs fried, Clyde
Make a roo rug, Doug
You catch lots of rare fish, Trish
Set none of them free
Stun a raccoon, June
Well all under a full moon
Fur's very pricey, see
But nice and cuddly......
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 1 | 2 | 2 | ||||||||
| 2 | 1 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 5 | 15 | 14 | 14 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
So y'all love animals because they're delicious? Some interesting delicacies in there. When lions and tigers and bears, oh my, Stop eating meat, so will I.
Save the animals (in the freezer, where they'll keep longer!) Ahh... It's good to be at the top of the food chain. This is another one that makes me wish the original was longer and is sure to have me coming up with addendums and side-bars, all day. Funny stuff!
ROFLMfurryAO !!
Wow, so many great lines! "I said “Don’t appreciate cats, so would you please restrain away your shifty strays?” LOL !!
You two have been posting so many great parodies recently, I love it !! Why such a long hiatus? Have you been working on all of the recent submissions for months and saving them all up to submit now? I hope to see you keep submitting at the rate you are - your stuff is among the absolute best on this site. :-D
Wow, so many great lines! "I said “Don’t appreciate cats, so would you please restrain away your shifty strays?” LOL !!
You two have been posting so many great parodies recently, I love it !! Why such a long hiatus? Have you been working on all of the recent submissions for months and saving them all up to submit now? I hope to see you keep submitting at the rate you are - your stuff is among the absolute best on this site. :-D
i liked this one... is this the eating a sea otter song you mentioned on my shooting a sea cow song?
Reminds me of that Simpsons episode with a "Kentucky Fried Panda" in it ("Finger Ling-Ling Good!") Outstanding.
Bravo! The meter and rhymes are flawless and so is the message. I am unapologetic about my un-PC diet. My rationale: If God did not want us to eat animals, then why did He make them out of meat?
This made me laugh for the first time today. :-) All 5's.
Fabulous...I love it! 5s!
I love you guys..uh, girls..uh, um, ah, Im not getting into this again.....great great job!
Great job, Mer and Pips!!!!!!
Thanks so much everyone! We were hoping this might be a hit! :-)
Johnny, the hiatus was kind of my fault - I was in this haze of apathy and my creativity was just temporarily dried up... :-P
Ethan: No, that was a different song, but we might still submit it eventually.
Good to see you Jess!
Johnny, the hiatus was kind of my fault - I was in this haze of apathy and my creativity was just temporarily dried up... :-P
Ethan: No, that was a different song, but we might still submit it eventually.
Good to see you Jess!
I beg to differ! It was ALL your fault Merrry! Heh heh heh....
Hilarious! ;-)
Oh man, you 2 really outdid yourself this time. Anything anti-PETA is worthy of stright 5's in my book. Of course, we all know what PETA really stands for right? People Eating Tasty Animals!
This meats all my expectations of a good parody. Fives!
Heehee ! Did you know that you can buy purses here made out of Kangaroo scrotum ! Ooops, can I say that ??? This is a classic ! What more can I say ?!!!
That's disgusting! Why would you want one? Thanks for the other comment though ha ha!
Absolutely brilliant idea!
Hey, M&P - do you think you could do a parody to a tune I know, now, please?
Now you're cookin' with gas!
Give us one to work with Phil! Happy too! So long as it's not Iron Maiden!
Glad to see you two are not letting your meat loaf. Great parody about one of the most hare brained groups on the entire planet. Glad to see this is a hit and I will boost it one more notch.
Thanks again everyone! And looks like a PETA fan finally got to us! ;-D
Love it....hate it... love it! I support PETA and despise every line yet it made me laugh... that's when you know you've done a good job. ;-)
Leah, thank you! I really appreciate your comments! I think how a subject is presented is the important thing - I have read parodies opposing political figures that I support, and have still been able to laugh at them. And incidentally, while I am not in the least a PETA supporter, I am against the use of animals for fur, am annoyed by Ted Nugent, and I love cats... :-D
Way #56: Perform this parody, accompanied by the man with the armadillo guitar (yes, there is such an instrument, but it is illegal now to craft any new ones).
I don't think anyone likes PETA...
Read up 3 comments John!
I still haven't voted or commented on this? Well "See my vest, see my vest, made from real gorilla chest. See these loafers, former goofers, it was that made them fit best. See this hat, twas my cat. My evening where is vampire bat..." I could quote Simpsons all day, but 5's for the originality, and the pacing, and the funny.
I came to this one late: I still don't know the original (believe it or not), but recently heard Ray Stevens' "50 ways to get Bin Ladin". This one's better, though :-)
There are no organizations more radical than PETA. Robin Williams says whenever he takes his shirt off, PETA throws paint at him.
(SOTM) *see comment above* It's still good to be top o the food chain and I'm still loving this parody!
(SOTM) Another MEATY contender!
JSOTM--Vey Ogden Nash-esque...with a message. Interesting. 555
I could swear I praised you for the "shifty strays" line months ago. Honestly. I must be confusing myself with Johnny D. (That happens frequently.) I'd better eat some more baby seals - they're brain food, you know. Anyhoo - many great rhymes here. Excellent work.
Mighty Spaff.com, I take your confusion as the highest of parody-writing compliments. Thank you!
Johnny Dickhead ;-)
Johnny Dickhead ;-)
JSOTM: In revisiting this meat market, I find this parody tastes better the second time. Great job!
(SOTM) :D 5's
Even better this time around; seconds on the spotted owl pie, please.
sotm--A real PITA to PETA!
I found it better the second time around as well. Still a funny and delicious meal.
Person 1: "Don't eat the tuna"
Person 2: "Why?"
Person 1: "Because Dolphins are getting stuck in the the net"
Person 2: "Well... what about the tuna?"
Person 1: "Oh, screw them, they taste good."
-Dennis Leary
Person 1: "Don't eat the tuna"
Person 2: "Why?"
Person 1: "Because Dolphins are getting stuck in the the net"
Person 2: "Well... what about the tuna?"
Person 1: "Oh, screw them, they taste good."
-Dennis Leary
I was going through Dave's recordings page on Soundclick and found this parody. Very funny work, M&P, and a fine recording too. Maddox has T-shirts availablke that say "For every animal you save I'm going to eat three". 555. Check out my "Eat A Burger For PETA!" if you get the chance.
hey, i don't blame u for this, i mean really, PETA is a whole bunch of hypocrites, i mean really, between the years of 1998 and 2007, in peta headquarters, more then 89% of adoptable animals were killed by incineration, and another 0.5% killed by poison injection, and 0.5% thown into a dumpster. PETA has a walk-in freezer to store the dead bodies, and contracts with a Virginia Beach company to cremate them. People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, yeah right, that walk-in freezer in SO un-ethical
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