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Song Parodies -> "50 Ways To Beat Corona"

Original Song Title:

"50 Ways To Leave Your Lover"

Original Performer:

Paul Simon

Parody Song Title:

"50 Ways To Beat Corona"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Hope you all enjoy the romantic twist in the second stanza
The problem is because it spreads so easily
The solution's easy if you think pandemically
I'd like to help you with this plague from Chairman Xi
There must be .. 50 ways to beat Corona
50 ways to beat Corona

She said, "It's really not my habit to seclude"
Furthermore, I hate to sit at home and eat convenience food
But I repeat myself so you might cope with this Lung Flu
There must be .. fifty ways to beat Corona
Fifty ways to beat Corona

Just stick to your shack, Jack
Stay away from your gran, Stan
You need to wipe toys, Boys
Just listen to me
Hop off the bus, Gus
No need to commute much
Dont hoard the TP, Lee
And leave some for me

Just spit out the bat, Dat
Cant play with your scamps, Gramps
Wash hands after you void*, Lloyd
To stay virus free
Pass me the zinc, Link
No need to create stink
Time to come clean, Xi
About CCP

She said "It grieves me so to see the Orangeman dope"
Say "Chinese virus" like some total xenophobe
I said "I appreciate and would you give me hope"
About the fifty ways

She said "Why don't we both just sleep in separate beds"
And I believe in the morning I will prep some fish tank meds
And then she kissed me and I realized there's nothing left to dread
Cause there were .. fifty ways to beat Corona
Fifty way to beat Corona

Dont run with the pack, Mac
Cant hawk that phlegm, Clem
Avoid that schoolboy, Joy
Abstain from that touch, Dutch
No need to shake hands much
Just Clorox the key, Lee
And be Covid free

Dont work when you're sick, Dick
Take note of your hands, Stan
No need to touch face, Grace
Says CDC
Re-lather that palm, Mom
No need for those F-bombs
Use elbow to sneeze, Louise
So we can breath free

*As in "void the bladder" -- Medically accurate, prim and proper way off saying "piss" ... My Dad (who was a doctor) would always use this word instead of "piss" or "pee"

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

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Peter Andersson - April 14, 2020 - Report this comment
I'll add to that medical post song comment that "double voiding" or "triple voiding" is advice given to the elderly once problem with fully emptying the bladder starts to emerge.
CML - April 17, 2020 - Report this comment
Dad spent his last days in a hospital .. like many elderly folks. One day, while I was visiting, he says, "Help me up, I have to void." Its been 25 years and I still remember the way he said that
CML - April 17, 2020 - Report this comment
I seem to recall that you once mentioned that you were in the medical field, Peter ..... So, have you seen this Covid situation up close?
Phil Alexander - April 20, 2020 - Report this comment
CML - April 21, 2020 - Report this comment
Thanks for the semi-emoji, Phil. In this new normal at Amiright, you generally dont get enough feedback to determine whether you've knocked it out of the park (or Wembley Stadium, in your case) .... I was pretty sure I had, but positive feedback helps

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