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Song Parodies -> "Fifty-Eight Or More New Genders"

Original Song Title:

"Fifty Ways To Leave Your Lover"

Original Performer:

Paul Simon

Parody Song Title:

"Fifty-Eight Or More New Genders"

Parody Written by:

Steve Kalafut

The Lyrics

Inspired by this story from 4 years ago, about the 58 genders listed by Facebook. Since then, they've added even more. Pronounce each character in "F2M" as a syllable, like "eff-two-emm". The gender "neutrois" may be pronounced "noo-troy", with the "s" silent. In the second line, there's a small nod to Bob Dylan.
You just need to open up your mind, she said to me
The times are a-changing, you must take it graciously
I could have sworn last year that there were only three
There must be fifty-eight or more new genders

She said it's really not for us to act as judge
But I can still find it difficult to give myself a nudge
So I assured her then, I don't want to hold a grudge
Looks like there's fifty-eight or more new genders
Fifty-eight or more new genders

Just call yourself cis, Chris, or maybe you're trans, Stan
You might be neutrois, Roy, just go with your hunch
One spirit or two, Stu, or maybe you're fluid
Maybe F2M, Clem, so learn the whole bunch

Just call yourself cis, Chris, or maybe you're trans, Stan
You might be neutrois, Roy, just go with your hunch
One spirit or two, Stu, or maybe you're fluid
Maybe F2M, Clem, so learn the whole bunch

She said it bothers me to see that you're confused
I wish there was something I could say to make you more amused
I said, I appreciate that, may I be disabused about the fifty-eight

She said, why don't we both just take a little nap
And I believe, some time later that it won't feel like a trap
And then she kissed me and I realized I could try to adapt
Looks like there's fifty-eight or more new genders
Fifty-eight or more new genders

Just call yourself cis, Chris, or maybe you're trans, Stan
You might be neutrois, Roy, just go with your hunch
One spirit or two, Stu, or maybe you're fluid
Maybe F2M, Clem, so learn the whole bunch

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   1
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 5   7
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User Comments

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Jonathan - June 06, 2018 - Report this comment
I'm offensive and I find this parody a dude! 5s
Patrick - June 06, 2018 - Report this comment
This clears up some of the confusion. I used to joke about having the rare full length 45 rpm version of Paul Simon's classic, with all fifty ways to leave one's lover spelled out. It was the size of a manhole cover. Someone actually believed me. This is a great parody and rather timely. As for me, I'm heterosexual. Just wishing I had more opportunities to prove it.
Ann Fan - June 06, 2018 - Report this comment
I loved it when Ann Coulter mocked the gender people by telling them she felt she was a helicopter! Feelings don't replace genitalia, folks. Men and boys stay out of women's restrooms. Lauren Southern also knows how to shut these lunatics down.
Libby - June 07, 2018 - Report this comment
She not a helicopter. She an SUV.
Heliophobe - June 10, 2018 - Report this comment
Well, Baddest Hacks now has the Attack Helicopter edition of Legend of Zelda (at http://www.baddesthacks.net/?p=3726). Notably, that attack helicopter can actually fly a bit, as compared to those meddlesome tranny freakjobs who can't have periods or get pregnant or make babies regardless of what any leftard "intellectuals" may pretend. (Where are you going to put the fetus!? Are you going to keep it in a little box somewhere?)
Thomas Beatie - June 10, 2018 - Report this comment
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_Beatie

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