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Song Parodies -> "Fifty Ways To Lose Your Blubber"

Original Song Title:

"Fifty Ways To Lose Your Lover"

Original Performer:

Paul Simon

Parody Song Title:

"Fifty Ways To Lose Your Blubber"

Parody Written by:

Squire Malloy

The Lyrics

“The lard is all inside your gut”, she said to me
“Soon, your belly will be hanging down upon your knee
Can’t see your pecker when you go to take a pee
There must be fifty ways to lose your blubber”

She said "A diet might be something to include
Even though it seems you can’t go fifteen seconds without food
You might do better if your lips were crazy-glued
There must be fifty ways to lose your blubber
Fifty ways to lose your blubber”

Eat a lot less Wes
Lay off the spam, Sam
Put down the fork, Mork
Avoid gluttony
Go to the gym, Jim
You’re tryin’ to get slim
Order some brie Lee
But make it fat free

Eat a lot less Wes
Lay off the spam, Sam
Put down the fork, Mork
Avoid gluttony
Go to the gym, Jim
You’re tryin’ to get slim
Order some brie Lee
But make it fat free

She said” Just drop 200 and get off the gravy train
Then you’d almost start to look like you were human once again”
I said “That’s sweet”, won’t you continue to explain
About the fifty ways

She said” Why not come over to my place and share a bite
I believe I have a strategy to get you thin and light"
When I arrived her restaurant was closed up for the night
There must be fifty ways to lose your blubber
Fifty ways to lose your blubber

Use a small plate, Nate
Step on the scale, Dale
Stay off the fat,Pat
Avoid gluttony
Hop on the bike, Mike
If you want to be sylph-like
Eat like a flea, Dee
But make it fat free

Use a small plate, Nate
Step on the scale, Dale
Stay off the fat, Pat
Avoid gluttony
Hop on the bike, Mike
If you want to be sylph-like
Eat like a flea, Dee
But make it fat free

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   1
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 5   7
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User Comments

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Jonathan - April 11, 2016 - Report this comment
I wrote a similar parody of this called "50 Days To Lose My Blubber" and I'll say again what I said about that one this isn't really something I think I could pull off! I like cake too much! 5's
Pat(rick) - April 12, 2016 - Report this comment
Good advice, but I once wrote an ode to the Nestlé Aero Bar.

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