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Song Parodies -> "Fifty Ways to Feed Your Blubber"

Original Song Title:

"Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover"

Original Performer:

Paul Simon

Parody Song Title:

"Fifty Ways to Feed Your Blubber"

Parody Written by:

Timmy1000

The Lyrics

There are probably more than fifty ways.
The choc-late is all applied to bread, I spread with glee
The pan here is cheesy, as I take in calories
I’d like two helpings, then, I mumble maybe three
There must be fifty ways to feed your blubber

My spread has chili pot with rabbit that is stewed
Petit four I grope, I’m learning salad’s tossed and not pursued
And I’ll eat meat so swell with a bisque that must be chewed
There must be fifty ways to feed your blubber
Nifty glaze to feed your blubber

You just whip out a snack, Zac
Bake in a pan, Dan
You don’t feed on bok choy, Roy
Baguette with melt brie
Pop is a must, Russ
You just feed on pie crust much
Pork chop with Jim Beam©, Liam
No vitamin C

Use some dip on a flapjack
Flakes on a flan, man
You just plead for Po’boy, Troy
Your gut will agree
Chomp on a bun, son
Poppy seed, you won’t shun ton
Just plop on latrine, Gene
And eat jelly beans

I’ve had relief with bowls of beef stew, quiche Lorraine
Some fish, there was plum drink in my queue to slake the thirst with gin
I spread, I’m so overweight, fat, but couldn’t eat food plain,
Sauerkraut in crispy braise

White bread for toast, a float with Peeps© and made with Sprite©
I don’t believe the forewarning, have sloe gin, Turkish Delight
I can’t resist treats, so I’m oversized, a blob I eat all night
There must be fifty ways to feed your blubber
Nifty grazing, feed your blubber

You munch chips, a twin pack, Mac
Cake with some jam, Graham
You could lead with Rob Roy, Joy
Quintet of candy
Top off, you’re plus, Gus
You don’t eat with a fuss much
Just slop on buffet, Jay
And get a fillet

You could sip on Cold Duck, schmuck
Bake up a clam, Sam
You could knead up a tart, Art
Just eat some Nestle’©
Sprinkle with crumb, bum
You just need some dim sum, chum
Just top with ice cream, Dean
Or get Lean Cuisine©

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 23

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
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 4   0
 0
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 5   23
 23
 23
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Rick - August 21, 2015 - Report this comment
Best title of the day, 5s!
Kathy - August 21, 2015 - Report this comment
555 candy bars!
Jonathan - August 21, 2015 - Report this comment
suddenly I'm hungry... 5's
Leough - August 21, 2015 - Report this comment
Now you're going to need 50 ways to lose your blubber.
Rob Arndt - August 22, 2015 - Report this comment
555 for the parody, but it reminded me of John Candy. He was eating so much before he died. On his last film, he consumed buckets of chicken and loaves of bread (sandwiches) washed down by gallons of Pop soda. What a shame, and what a loss...
Timmy1000 - August 22, 2015 - Report this comment
Rob - A coincidence that his last was Candy? He was a very funny man. It is too bad.
Rob Arndt - August 23, 2015 - Report this comment
Yeah, same for Chris Farley and Dom Deluise.
Annie - August 23, 2015 - Report this comment
Great parody :) While I'm eating lunch too! 555
Andy Primus - August 23, 2015 - Report this comment
I like my food & drink but you managed to throw a few in there that I'd never heard of (Po’boy, Peeps & Cold Duck).
Patrick - August 25, 2015 - Report this comment
I can relate to this one. Give me an Aero bar and some sweet tea. And fried chicken.
Peregrin - August 25, 2015 - Report this comment
Enjoyable from start to finish, Timmy. A well done job with a popular parody target song. And great last line to finish :)
Meriadoc - August 26, 2015 - Report this comment
A perfect parody feast! Fave line: flakes on a flan.

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