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Song Parodies -> "50 Ways To Ease Your Chubber"

Original Song Title:

"50 Ways To Leave Your Lover"

Original Performer:

Paul Simon

Parody Song Title:

"50 Ways To Ease Your Chubber"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

The problem is all because of meds meant for E.D.
Your lance hurts extremely, and it shakes spasmodic'lly
I'd like to help you in your quest to get relief
There must be fifty ways to ease your chubber

You know the feeling that you have's become acute
Furthermore, you fear your weenie will be lost or drip and droop
But I'll repeat myself to a reckless nincompoop
There must be fifty ways to ease your chubber
Fifty ways to ease your chubber

You just trip on a rat, Matt
Bake up some Spam, Sam
You get peeved and annoyed, LLoyd
And get yourself wee
Slop through some muck, Huck
You don't need all this cussed lust
You've got to relieve, Steve
Your great urge to pee

Ooh, chip off some plaque, Zack
Watch some Roseanne, Van
Ooh, become unemployed, Boyd
Your chub's twitchin' should cease
Hop on a crutch, Dutch
You could sweep off the hutch dust
Just swallow some fleece, Cleese
And stress will decrease

You know you really feel like such a scatterbrain
You wish there was something to reduce your juvenile complaint
I said there's an answer for that, and so I will explain
About the fifty ways

I said I'll give you hope to calm your fitful fright
And you'll become much less horny and begin to ease your plight
I said just trust me, and you'll realize I certainly was right
There must be fifty ways to ease your chubber
Fifty ways to ease your chubber

You just think of Iraq, Mack
Rage at Iran, Dan
You could key a Rolls Royce, Boyce
Then chop down a tree
Oh, you chomp on a duck, Chuck
You'll be freed if you brush thrush
Just think of Aunt Bee, Lee
And claim victory

Hang from a rack, Jack
Swallow wet sand, Rand
You could chug down some soy, Roy
Oh, and lessen your grief
Repaint your truck, Buck
You don’t need to retouch clutch
Just change your beliefs, Chief
And get your relief

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.8
How Funny: 3.8
Overall Rating: 3.8

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   3
 2   0
 3   1
 4   0
 5   8

User Comments

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Callmelennie - February 19, 2015 - Report this comment
I had surgery years ago to remove my cancerous prostate, which severely damaged my erectile nerves -- so I have become well acquainted with the stuff. So I can tell you that anyone who doesn't need Viagra and takes a full tab will have this painful erection problem, not to mention side effects that feel like a mild case of flu .... And even men who are experiencing ED for the first time shouldn't take a full tab. Cut the pill in half -- you'll get the effect you want and milder side effects
TJC - February 19, 2015 - Report this comment
LOL! (Laugh Over Limpness) This parody's literally turgid with witijisms!
My favs?: 'Watch some Roseanne, Van' & 'Think of Aunt Bee, Lee'!
Callmelennie - February 19, 2015 - Report this comment
My Roseanne joke goes like this: Had to go to the ER once for a four hour erection problem. An orderly came up to me and said, "What political affiliation are you? I told them, "Conservative" So they wheeled me into a room with a big TV screen and played a video of Roseanne Barr singing the national anthem. Now, I can't get it up at all
Timmy1000 - February 19, 2015 - Report this comment
You really erected a pair of classics today, Leough. It must have been a starnge frame of mind day yesterday.
John Barry - February 19, 2015 - Report this comment
What's the easer of the chub ablaze with STD? D-I-C-K-E-Y D-O-U-S-E.
Jonathan - February 19, 2015 - Report this comment
you were just dicking around when you wrote these parodies weren't you? :) 5's
Patrick - February 20, 2015 - Report this comment
Think of four years of Hillary Clinton, and your four-hour problem will be gone in four minutes.
Andy Primus - February 21, 2015 - Report this comment
Just think of your mum, chum
To make yourself numb
Meriadoc - February 23, 2015 - Report this comment
The Roseanne line was priceless!

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