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Song Parodies -> "50 Ways To Banish Satan"

Original Song Title:

"50 Ways To Leave Your Lover"

Original Performer:

Paul Simon

Parody Song Title:

"50 Ways To Banish Satan"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

Another one inspired by this story, but also by Peter's comment on my first parody on this subject, The Devil Went To The Vatican.
The Devil is there inside your head", he said to me
"The answer" he continued "is to exorcise that de-
Mon who is making you say all that heresy
And there are fifty ways to banish Satan"

He added that it wasn't his desire to make me panic
About the infestation in my brain not being organic
"If you think of me as a satanic mechanic
'Cause there are fifty ways to banish Satan"
Fifty ways to banish Satan

You just pick up your cross, Ross
Get a wooden stake, Blake
Use water that's holy, Rolly
Just get yourself free
Sing Cantabilus, Gus
So you won't have to cuss much
Just call on the Dei, Ray
And get yourself free

Ooo, cast out Old Nick, Mick
Expel Ahriman, Stan
Kick out the beamin' demon
No King of Hell, Mel
Eject Abaddon, Ron
Exclude that crude dude
Get yourself free

He said it grieves me so to see you in such pain
As your head spins round and round and round again
I said "Hallucinating.. I think you're insane
About the fifty ways"

He said "Your attitude will cause Satan delight
But when I've depossessed you, you will see the light
And then he crossed himself, I realized he wasn't all that bright
About his fifty ways to banish Satan
Fifty ways to banish Satan

Make sure your fiend's cleaned
No more adversary, Gary
To the bottomless pit, Mitt
Just get yourself free
So call on your God, Rod
And get rid of the odd bod
Clean up the unclean, Dean
And get yourself free

Abaddon's a bad 'un, Stan
From Pand'monium, Mum
Apollyon begone
You just listen to me
No more diabolic frolic
Ban Beelzebub, Bud
He's the Enemy, Lee
So get yourself free
Security code "PUN" :-)

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   11

User Comments

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t1k - March 18, 2010 - Report this comment
50 ways to banish, yet he still keeps coming back. very well written and a good choice for OS.
Old Man Ribber - March 18, 2010 - Report this comment
Funny! Do you think this will work on the unobomber as well? :D
Patrick - March 18, 2010 - Report this comment
A hell of fine job you've done on Paul Simon's song. My demons keep coming back stronger than ever, even though I exercise them every day. Oh, wait, you say I was supposed to "ex-OR-cise" them. Oops!
Belzebubbly - March 18, 2010 - Report this comment
5th circle, baby!
John Barry - March 18, 2010 - Report this comment
Diabolically clever. You fell into a burning ring of fives.
Phil Nelson - March 18, 2010 - Report this comment
Cute parody and well written
Mark Scotti - March 18, 2010 - Report this comment
Wonderful "testament" to faith!
TJC AKA Father Merrin Leherer - March 18, 2010 - Report this comment
A trans-substanciating 'exorcise' in otherworldly wordplay!
Peter Andersson - March 19, 2010 - Report this comment
Working the word/name "Mephistopheles" into a parody deserves a five in itself. Furthermore I'm sure this one in the long run will show up high on Google Search for the phrase "Banish Satan", at least down there in Redneckistan.
Phil Alexander - March 19, 2010 - Report this comment
:-) Thanks all

t1k - can't claim credit for this choice of Song - that was Peter's bit of inspiration.

Patrick - I've known personal trainers who'd give pretty demonic work outs.. I'm guessing they were making the same mistake

Peter - thanks for the idea... say, do they have that many computers down in Redneckistan?
Peregrin - September 02, 2014 - Report this comment
Catching up on some old works. Agreed with Peter, Phil. Loved to find "Mephistopheles" in here! And Sting thought he had that all wrapped around his finger.

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