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Song Parodies -> "In Rehab To Be Recovered (Nessie's Tale)"

Original Song Title:

"50 Ways to Leave Your Lover"

Original Performer:

Paul Simon

Parody Song Title:

"In Rehab To Be Recovered (Nessie's Tale)"

Parody Written by:

Warren Baker

The Lyrics

Chapter 6- After Paul rehooked with her sister, Babe, Nessie believed true love was with the Jolly Green Giant. It was not to be. The giant left her for a young sprout. Distraught and alone, Nessie suspected therapy was the only course of action. But something changed her course.
“The comfort inside is in your bed,” sis said to me.
“We know that you’re sleaziness will end most tragically.
The doctors say there’s only one way to be free
You must get in rehab to be recovered”

I sensed sincerity inside her attitude
For this whore,
I know outside I must appear both rude and lewd.
And could I be myself, and not sleep with any dude?
And do I need rehab to get recovered?
Will rehab help me recover?

I’ll just jump out the sack, Jack
Start a new grand plan
I won’t need a new boy toy
This sin I will flee
Take out the ‘touch’ crutch
In group we’ll discuss much
Just hope they’ll have TV
And not a high fee

Ooo, hope they don’t lack tact
Have any sad grads
All I need is my soul whole
It’s no mystery
Wanna adjust lust
Won’t need to go strut butt
Just want ‘em to free me
Or else I’ll leave

The doctors all were nice and cured me of the pain
Although there was
Something deep inside that said, “Please don’t abstain.”
No way to alleviate that, alas, it's too ingrained.
And then there came the day...

There was this guy whose room was three doors to the right
I saw there was
Something in his eyes that said he knew my plight
And then he held me and I realized I’d likely spend the night
Golfer needs another lover

I’m on the du jour tour
With above par star
He’s a quite a known fat cat
A money machine
He’s my new pro beau
It’s not quite apropos
I’ll be his new green queen
He’s the swing king

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   1
 4   0
 5   4

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Mark Scotti - February 22, 2010 - Report this comment
And the "tail" continues...Great Job!
Old Man Ribber - February 22, 2010 - Report this comment
Cheer up, Nessie. Have I got a man for you! He's a Russian Giant who rides his steed across the heavens. Here's his cell phone number...his name is Ilya Murometz! ;D
Ann Hammond - February 22, 2010 - Report this comment
he he
Christie Marie M - February 22, 2010 - Report this comment
Ditto on Mark's comment! Poor Nessie! Great work. 555! The saga continues!
Fiddlegirl - February 22, 2010 - Report this comment
Master(and Johnson)ful!!! ;) Absolutely hilarious-- 555.
Warren Baker - February 22, 2010 - Report this comment
Mark and Christie- Thanks for your continued support.
OMR- Я передам это.
Anne- One of these days, those capital h's are gonna happen.
FG- Glad it tickled you.
Old Man Ribber - February 23, 2010 - Report this comment
Warren..nostrovia! ;D
Tommy Turtle - February 23, 2010 - Report this comment
Warren, now you're *definitely* "somebody" -- you've acquired a Unabomber (almost) -- the sure sign that you've "made it". (You got one with enough decency to give "some" points for pacing. When you get the complete triple-one-jerk, you're in!)

Rolliin, rollin', rollin'
Warren's tale keeps rollin'
Votin', votin', votin'
High Five!
Evgeni Plushenko - February 23, 2010 - Report this comment
You speak russkiy, eh? я был ограблен!
Phil Nelson - February 23, 2010 - Report this comment
A new twist and turn, the saga goes on. Hilaruios! 5's
Warren Baker - February 24, 2010 - Report this comment
TT- And I was so much hoping for the uno's...sigh. "Don't try to understand 'em, they vote, hide when stabbin'..."

Evgeni- What meddle you have, comrade. Я слышу, что Вы пошли платина.

Phil- Thanks for the comment! I wanted to bring a current event into the picture.

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