1: I don't mind that she's a woman. That's really not an issue.
I'm not the kind that thinks a woman's going to need a tissue.

2: I don't mind that she's a mother or an out of wedlock granny
or that her baby's going to need his mother and not the nanny.

CHORUS:
Half a heartbeat away, half a heartbeat away,
Sarah Barracuda's half a heartbeat away.

3: I don't mind she took her city and ran it into the ground-.
She even used additional help to make it a deficit town-.
CHORUS:

BRIDGE:
What scares me the most, McCain is almost a ghost.
It wouldn't take much to set him off,
and then, this President's toast.
So, who's next in line? The Veep usually has more time
and experience running a country.
But then, she'll be in her prime.

4: I don't mind she ran Alaska like it's her personal state-.
But there are quite a number of things, including this "Trooper-gate"-.
CHORUS:

CODA: (spoken)
If somebody just says, "Boo" to John McCain,
we'll be impaled with Sarah Palin, our next selected official.
But they'll have to find her first,
off moose-hunting somewhere in Alaska.
(I better watch out. She might come gunning for me.)