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Song Parodies -> "50 Trays Of Beached Whale Blubber"

Original Song Title:

"50 Ways To Leave Your Lover"

Original Performer:

Paul Simon

Parody Song Title:

"50 Trays Of Beached Whale Blubber"

Parody Written by:

Guy DiRito

The Lyrics

DKTOS? Listen to Paul Simon on Youtube sing the "50 Ways" song. Just click HERE for the video.

Your ailin' is all inside your head, 'bout blubbery,
Those ranchers aren't queasy over oyster jamborees.
Don't mean to "ralph" you with our custom eatery,
They'll bring out fifty trays of beached whale blubber.

She said there's nothing here like rabbit for your food,
Furthermore, I hope your cookies won't be tossed and all out spewed.
You married me yourself and insisted that our food,
Can't be no icky way you'd heave your cover.

Just toss out the roe, Joe,
Whales don't lay eggs, Meg
Roe's put out by fish, Gish
That's not blubbery.
Just munch down like thus, Gus,
Please eat all your lunch, munch.
That's just a kid-ney, Lee,
Pige-on of the sea.

Whale fat's quite a snack, Jack,
Whale eye's to die, Guy.
Not dinin' on koi, Roy
Moby fricassee,
You're munchin' Shamu, Stu
Please try some tail of a whale Gail
Just spit out that fin, Gwynn
Don't swallow it in.

She said believe me you will crave this stuff again,
It's always something 'bout our food makes outsiders taste buds rend.
I asked, your feast once it's ate, and what if I complain,
About the fifty trays?

She said I do not wish to creep you out tonight,
And I pray the sight of blubber will not make you flee in fright.
Please make mine crispy and so then meal-wise, be probably alright.
It's just those Fifty trays of beached whale blubber,
Fifty trays of beached whale blubber!

Here, chew on some "Blue", Drew.
Can't eat blow hole, Joel.
Munch on some humpback, Jack,
A bit rubbery.
Slop down a gray, Ray
Some bottlenose hose, Rose
Try the baleen, Jean
No finer cuisine.

Skip dolphin fin, Gin,
Caught up in net, Brett,
Wasn't corpus on porpoise,
StarKist® 'em let be.
Slice off some sail, Mel.
Hearty gulps of sperm whale nailed.
Don't puke on the fluke, Duke
No need to rebuke.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 15

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   15

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

adagio - July 09, 2008 - Report this comment
What a fun one, Guy! Does it really taste that good? Or just like Crisco in a can, man. Got me doing it, that's a fun one to write to. 5's
Ann Hammond - July 09, 2008 - Report this comment
he he he he and my code happens to be PFF
alvin - July 09, 2008 - Report this comment
this made me blubber with laughter...especially liked "you're munchin' shamu, stu" and "don't puke on the fluke, duke"
McKludge - July 09, 2008 - Report this comment
Just the word "blubber" itself is funny. I've got a parody in the works to Jailbreak called Whale Steak, might just have to finish it up.
John Barry - July 09, 2008 - Report this comment
A whale of a parody.
Meriadoc - July 09, 2008 - Report this comment
Just say no to Eskimo. Loved the dolphin/porpoise triplet. Such lipidness.
LilCookieToss - July 09, 2008 - Report this comment
Sir, this is defintely ~CABO WABO~ I love it; it moves so well.
AFW - July 09, 2008 - Report this comment
Lots of sea connections on entries, today...funny one, here
fromCrabDiner - July 09, 2008 - Report this comment
Sir Guy, ~Knight o' Whalin' Parody ~ this is a fantastic write! This is very technically astute for Calif. Coast, as we have many whales here at sea. The lines are just hilarious: " wasn't corpus on porpoise' was my favorite! It's a whale of a parody, Sir !
Peregrin - July 09, 2008 - Report this comment
There's something distinctly fishy about this song Guy :)
renaldo - July 10, 2008 - Report this comment
I'm a day late reading this one Guy, this is Moby-licious! I wrote a 50 ways parody last halloween that I remember you liked. This one blows that one ,and the others, out of the water. Pun intended. (Are you part Eskimo?) 555 tons of whale blubber!

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