The season came and went after summer
The baseball team came in behind
Mel looked across and there he saw Bernie
Wanting to show he's not his kind
And with his head above his shoulder
The mean and bitter veteran
From what I heard, that guy was a monster
And through his fears I heard him say

"Bernie, you are a zero, you're just a fool with your life"
"Bernie, you are a zero, drop dead by using your knife"
And as he started to go Mel add "Bernie, you are mad slo-o-ow"
"Bernie, you are a zero, just leave me be"

The crazy G (Steinbrenner) was trapped in a ban land
The office running all around
Gene Michael cried "We‘ve got to do it boys!"
"We got to do this right for now"
"There is a guarantee it’ll succeed "
"We’ll rid this team of excrement"
With Mel’s bag out up in a moment
Regrettin' all the words he said

We said
"Mel Hall, you are a zero, you are a tool for your life"
"Mel Hall, you are a zero, get lost ‘cause you‘re just a hype"
And as he started to go we said "Mel Hall, your life just bloooow"
"Mel Hall, you are a zero as we can see"

I heard that everyone got a letter
That told how Mel Hall’s failed that day
The letter said that he is a zero
It is so foul that he's insane
I heard Bernie have smiled that day