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Song Parodies -> "Billy, Don't Eat That HoHo"

Original Song Title:

"Billy, Don't Be A Hero"

Original Performer:

Paper Lace

Parody Song Title:

"Billy, Don't Eat That HoHo"

Parody Written by:

Rex Ungericht

The Lyrics

As I was walkin' down along Main Street
I saw a most immense behind
He turned around, I saw it was Billy
Inhaling Harvin Bacon Rinds
And from a pocket on his shoulder
He pulled a cream-filled Tastykake
He seemed to have an endless supply, and
I thought that I had better say

Billy, don't eat that HoHo
Put down that box of MoonPies
Billy, no more Doritos
You're lookin' twenty feet wide
And as Billy filled his cake hole
With a dozen Cinnabon rolls
Billy pulled out some Rolos
Ate fifty-three

He opened up a barrel of Hot Fries
I watched him eat 'em by the pound
And when I cried "You've got to slow down, boy!"
He simply belched and grabbed a Mounds
He ate a Twinkie that was fried up
And dipped in melted choc-o-late
He swallowed twenty S'mores in a second
Then drank a gallon of Big Red

I said
Billy, don't eat those Cheetos
Say no to all Cutie Pies
Billy, put down those Fritos
Give cauliflower a try
And as seventeen Drumstick cones
Followed Double-Stuf Oreos
Billy grew extra jumbo
For all to see

I saw on Oprah several months later
A skinny Billy on display
He had a book and his own TV show
He now was rich from losing weight
It seems that he had planned it that way
Note to the legal departments of the companies whose products are mentioned: this parody is about the deliberate misuse of snack foods and is no way a reflection on the healthfulness of your fine comestibles, which I'm sure are perfect in every way.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   14

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Christie Marie M - August 24, 2009 - Report this comment
Very appetizing. Now even this is making me hungry! Before Billy lost weight, he must have gained 555 lbs, now he's lost 555 lbs afterwards!
Timmy1000 - August 24, 2009 - Report this comment
Busted a gut on this one. Wow, two Billy, don't be a hero parodies in one day.
AFW - August 24, 2009 - Report this comment
Funny, and a good tale
Joe Siebert - August 24, 2009 - Report this comment
I loved the subsitutions ("Hoho", "Doritos", "Cheetos", etc.). Good job. 5 5 5
Fiddlegirl - August 24, 2009 - Report this comment
$555 for extra insulin shots!
Matthias - August 24, 2009 - Report this comment
This was pretty awesome. I enjoyed the surprise ending as well as all of the title subs. I'm going to try to get something done for this round, but if I can't I'll tell you know that this one would get high points from me.
Guy Doritos - August 24, 2009 - Report this comment
Oh no - I was eaten by that former fat A$$ Billy. Rex now why did you go and kill my character off in this parody? Now I have to find work on someone elses parody show. Can ya lend me a 5 spot? I like this parody. Well done Rex.
Mark Scotti - August 24, 2009 - Report this comment
Great write, Rex! goes very well with my entry today! 555 pounds,,
Max Power - August 31, 2009 - Report this comment
Grossman don't throw a picker...too late, 555 interceptions.
Matthias - September 01, 2009 - Report this comment
This parody is making me very hungry... Where did I put those HoHos?
Agrimorfee - September 03, 2009 - Report this comment
Like everyone else said, many junk foods that rhymed, isnt that interesting? :) Great surprise ending too.
Medemia - September 06, 2009 - Report this comment
Are you sure this is Billy and not Jared? Jared, go eat a hero... Enjoyable, and well done. I liked it muy mucho.
bobpiecheese - September 08, 2009 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Truly a superb parody ful to the brim with spot on pacing and crazy matching-rhymes-to-the-original-song's-ness. If that makes sense. Which it probably doesn't. Erm...555!
Below Average Dave - September 11, 2009 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Something about this was just very charming:D I don't know, maybe it's the whole ho ho and Billy not eating them, Just very fun!
HO-Of-WOE - September 11, 2009 - Report this comment
Lord Rexy, I do love this title, each time I scroll by it, Sir !

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