I’ll bet Biden’s been besieged by nasty flashbacks
of the mess he made while trying to debate
An entire week of practice didn’t help him
That codger proved that he can’t cogitate

There are other candidates they may consider
‘cuz the pig who wears the pantsuits wants her stint
But the party says Kamala still outranks her
even though she primaried at one percent

Please DNC, don’t make us choose from these
No one likes them, no one wants them, they’re leftovers
Please DNC, let the old man careen
off the stage and make the others go with him

There are some who say we could try Gavin Newsome
but he’s got those Californians deep in debt
And I hope they don’t consider Gretchen Whitmer
‘cuz I’m sure she is the mom of Baphomet

Well I guess this list of names won’t really matter
Come election night, I’m sure we’ll be behind
so we might as well pack up and head for Cuba
where our politics are more closely aligned

Please DNC, don’t make us choose from these
No one likes them, no one wants them, they’re leftovers
Please DNC, let the old man careen
off the stage and make the others go with him