Song Parodies -> Please Don't Buy That Flour
| Original Song Title: | "You Don't Bring Me Flowers" |
| Original Performer: | Neil Diamond & Barbra Streisand |
| Parody Song Title: | "Please Don't Buy That Flour" |
| Parody Written by: | Malcolm Denny |
His voice on the left, hers on the right. Both together at the end.
Where d'you buy that flour?
........................................................From the local grocer.
You hardly bake good bread any more:
It's thrown out of the door
At the end of the day.
........................................................I remember when
........................................................You couldn't wait to eat it;
........................................................Used to hate to leave it.
What was that wholemeal
You were using last night?
........................................................Well it's good for you
........................................................And it's better than white.
But how long have you had it?
It doesn't taste right.
Please don't buy that flour
Any more.
...................................................I never found it easy
...................................................To make perfect scones like Grandma.
But Grandma's scones don't
Bounce any more:
They just lay on the floor
Till we sweep them away.
................................................. And baby I remember
...................................................All the things mum taught me:
...................................................I learned how to bake
................................................... And I learned how to fry.
I got sauce in my hair
And crumbs in my eye.
....................................................Remember that egg yolk
....................................................That splashed on your tie?
But please don't buy that flour
Any more.
.....................................................D'you fancy a curry?
Indian or Thai?
.....................................................I won't pickle gherkins.
Won't pinch your chocolate raisins.
If you don't buy that flour .........I won't buy that flour
Any more ....................................Any more
........................................................From the local grocer.
You hardly bake good bread any more:
It's thrown out of the door
At the end of the day.
........................................................I remember when
........................................................You couldn't wait to eat it;
........................................................Used to hate to leave it.
What was that wholemeal
You were using last night?
........................................................Well it's good for you
........................................................And it's better than white.
But how long have you had it?
It doesn't taste right.
Please don't buy that flour
Any more.
...................................................I never found it easy
...................................................To make perfect scones like Grandma.
But Grandma's scones don't
Bounce any more:
They just lay on the floor
Till we sweep them away.
................................................. And baby I remember
...................................................All the things mum taught me:
...................................................I learned how to bake
................................................... And I learned how to fry.
I got sauce in my hair
And crumbs in my eye.
....................................................Remember that egg yolk
....................................................That splashed on your tie?
But please don't buy that flour
Any more.
.....................................................D'you fancy a curry?
Indian or Thai?
.....................................................I won't pickle gherkins.
Won't pinch your chocolate raisins.
If you don't buy that flour .........I won't buy that flour
Any more ....................................Any more
The egg-yolk really happened.Written for our local church-hall concert.Lyrics Copyright, Malcolm Denny 2005.
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"won't pinch your chocolate raisins"....that line got me going; but the whole thing is good reading
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