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Song Parodies -> "My Allergies"

Original Song Title:

"Lady Marmalade"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"My Allergies"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Okay, I have no idea if the French in this is accurate or not. I will give a full translation of what I MEANT for it to say if one requests. It's also best if you read the "congested" lyrics out loud, or else you wode hab a clue. For what it's worth, I'm allergic to about everything you can be allergic to. (That was worth about...2 cents.)
Ass-ist your nose; this is no common cold, mister
Hey, sister, blow, sister - you've got a nose-blister!

I'm loaded on drugs, for the pollen count's huge
Downing the Allegra D
And I say, "Oh no, duck low!
Mucus is starting to flow..."

Bitchin', itchy pollen, ah ah
Scritchy scratchy hives down here
Loco-chokin' lotsa blah, yah
Free me from my allergies!

Cue tissue cliché - sneezing snot, a lot
You should move away, sinus block...

I went out for Pseudophedrine HCL
And took the meds the doctor prescribed
Nose was numb, nostrils weak, oh that's when it started to leak...

Fetch a stretcher, please, aidez-moi!
Phlegm-filled lungs - emergency!
Eyes red like conjunctivi-tahs
Free me from my allergies!

Gluey goo, my eyeballs rubbed raw, oh bah.
Comment vous dites "Need cough drops"?

Hey, Hey, Hey
Rubbed on my skin, Menthol ointment soothes
Smells nice, keeps the dripping at bay
But it kept it all inside,
Couldn't breathe, and died
(Morgue, Morgue, Morgue)

Dow I'b on Flodase, and still alibe
Talkeeg like I hab a code
Dat was close, bud I comblade,
(I) Still feel the sabe!
(Sore, bored, floored...)

Biss by days of ha-ha, laugh-tah
Caddot laugh with sdot id here
Dow I cry to hebben - Fath-ah!
Free be frub by allergies!

"Remettez-moi le Sudafed," I said
Vous devez part "ache" from my head!
Fleuves du flegme, quite the haul, ¡muy mal!
(¿Por qué hablé en español?)


[repeat to end]

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   1
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

TIbbygirl - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm not quite sure the pacing was totally right, but I gave you 5/5/5. And I even plugged my nose whilst singing the words. Anyone who can get me to do that totally deserves a perfect 15!!!! Great job, emi!!!
Kristof Robertson - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Leo Jay - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Wow, you've done it again. Love the stuffed-nose-speak.
Apricot - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
I see now why Luke Brattoni propsed to you.
EmiLoca - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
On the contrary, Apricot - I proposed to him. But for the same reasons, I'm sure. ;-) Thanks to everyone else who left comments, as usual, you are greatly appreciated. I agree with TibbyGirl - the pacing probably isn't perfect, but thanks so much for bearing with me.
Ashkicksass - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
I feel your pain girl, and you expressed it perfectly. 5's of course.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
You mean you proposed to me because of blocked sinuses and mucal leakage? And I thought it was due to my nine inch... throat... which is conjested... Great worked, especially 'bitchin itchy pollen, ah ah', you really nailed this song.
EmiLoca - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, AKA (I refuse to misspell your name ever again) and JARLB-dearest for your comments. I'm disappointed - I didn't know your throat was so small. I'm rarely interested in men who don't have 10-inch or higher. I suppose those boarding-school pants must restrict
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Perhaps you can compensate with a Deep Throat. (not fully aware of what I am exactly saying, but hope it translates as 'Yes, we wear boarding school pants high')
Meriadoc - June 22, 2004 - Report this comment
This was excellent! I love how you switched from French to Spanish at the end. :-)
EmiLoca - June 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Meriadoc (I'll never tell you that the French/Spanish switch was pure laziness on my part, my first second language being Spanish, so you just keep thinking it was a clever idea of mine).

Well then.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Really?! Last I heard, the 'then' was taken ill.
Phil Alexander - July 27, 2004 - Report this comment
C'est bon, EmiLoca - tu as fait le translation en google? Anyway, as someone who's allergic to everything, what about cats? (to see what I mean, have a look at
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - July 27, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) Yippee, now I have an alibi for plaguing your comment board! Truly 'enjoyable' (pronounce Frenchy as 'on-joy-ahblah')
Johnny D - July 30, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) paced "Pseudophedrine HCL" !!! COOLNESS !!!
Jeff Reuben - July 30, 2004 - Report this comment
This is excellent!
Meriadoc - August 01, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) Above comments still apply... :-)
Adagio - August 01, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) Really good, Emi. DKTOS, but it read good enough to give you 5's.

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