At the age of 70
Justin Heath has passed away
Near the beach, haphazardly
Walking on a high-rise beam
In his blue jeans
A gory scene!

His attorney Bill Kristofferson
Called those cited in the will they found
All then wondered with much apprehension
What that weird schnook would leave his family
So upside down
That crazy clown
Will he spread it 'round? Eh?

Ahhh...here's his words thus quoted that day
"Do you wonder who will get all of my money?
My dog Fred!
That's right, Ed!
'Cause I'm dead!
My pal, oh no, my pal!

Now for my surfing bud Horace Gray
You were the top, a righteous dude
Your grace and skill really filled my days
I now bequeath, from my possesions---

My prized white goose,
Two trained baboons,
Three rusty spoons,
Four antique lutes,
Five kinkajous,
Six brass spittoons,
Seven reed flutes,
Eight rubber boots,
Nine tin kazoos,
Ten bamboo shoots,
Eleven newts,
Twelve Rubik's Cubes
Thirteen canoes,
A hangman's noose,
Fourteen balloons,
My neutered moose,
Eighteen zoot suits (Whoot! Whoot! Whoot!)...
My old tap shoes,
One crate of booze,
A box of prunes (ripe and sweet!),
Some plastic tubes,
Two kangaroos,
And that's the news!"