Why are there so many
Words that sound cheeky
Like blue-tits and bollards and cock?
They’re not that rude really
But whenever I hear them
I say something that always will shock
Is it just that my mind is so filthy
That innuendo’s all that I can see?
But always I make them
The sexual connections
And I’m force to just take the pee

My friends look at me
And say ‘what’s your problem,
You’re getting too old for these jokes’
But I love making double entendres
My funny bone they seem to poke
Comics like Horne or Williams or Paddick
Get my thumbs up any day
They always made them
Those risky connections
That censorship let slip away

‘Oooo Blimey Matron it’s hard!’
Though people will say that I’m tragic

So if I regularly like to slip one in
Take it the way that you choose
I don’t mean to rub you all up the wrong way
They’re intended just to amuse
Hand on my chest, I will turn my cheek
But won’t go and clear up my mind
I’ll keep on enjoying
Those naughty connections
That slip up on you from behind