On a lukewarm summer’s evenin’, in a laundromat in Cleveland
I met up with a stranger, we were both there doin’ sheets
So we took turns a’ starin’ as the washers started churnin’
Till boredom swirled around us, and he began to speak

He said “Son, I’ve made a life, out of readin’ people’s laundry
Learning their life story, by the way they pour their Tide
And if you don’t mind my sayin’, I can see you’re agitated
For a cup of fabric softener, I’ll give you some advice”

“You’ve got to know how to load ‘em, know how to fold ‘em
Know how to separate so the colors never run
You always count your money, when you’re standin’ at the changer
‘Cause there ain’t no chance for refunds, when the cleanin’s done”

So I handed him my Downy and he used up my last capful
Then he bummed a static sheet and an extra hanger, too
And his face turned Ivory white, and his eyes looked unattended
Said “when it comes to love and socks, boy, the magic number’s two”

And when he finished speakin’, the dryer started squeakin’
He read a year-old People magazine and tumbled off to snooze
And before his clothes were finished, his pilot light extinguished . . .
But his final words of Cheer gave me All that I could use

“You’ve got to know how to load ‘em, know how to fold ‘em
Know how to separate so the colors never run
You always count your money, when you’re standin’ at the changer
‘Cause there ain’t no chance for refunds, when the cleanin’s done”