On a hot summer's evenin', on a bus bound for Dayton
I fought my little toddler, we were both too tired to sleep
He's fidgety and fussin', underneath my breath I'm cussin'
And about at my wit's end
When a lady near me speaks..

She says, Mam, I've been a nanny, worked for many fam'lies
Tended lots of little tads, some weren't very nice.
So, if you don't mind me sayin'..I can see you've passed your patience
Please hand me your young'un
She didn't need ask twice..

So, I handed her my baby, whom she cradled to her bosom
Patted him, and softly hummed an old time lullabye
Alexander grew real quiet, as he listened to her singing
Suddenly became a good boy,
And she whispered from my right..

You got to know how to hold 'em
Know when to scold 'em.
Know when to tap their bum
Know what to say..
You never spoil 'em, Honey,
When they're bein' bad and orn'ry
You have to slyly outsmart 'em
In a nanny's way..

Yes, every nanny knows the secrets of survival..
We're trained to think the baby's way with expertise and such
Mothers show emotions and toddlers sense these notions
It takes a true professional
With a special touch..

When she was finished speakin' my Little Al was sleepin'
As she passed him softly back, I heard someone scream wild..
A lad of six or seven,
Stood tuggin' on her coat sleeve,
And yellin' "I WANT CANDY, MOM!!"
I scratched my head and smiled..

You got to know how to hold 'em
Know when to scold 'em
Know when to tap their bum
Know what to say..
You never spoil 'em, Honey,
When they're bein' bad and orn'ry
You have to slyly outsmart 'em
In a nanny's way

You have to slyly outsmart 'em
In a nanny's way..