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Song Parodies -> "The Politician"

Original Song Title:

"The Gambler"

Original Performer:

Kenny Rogers

Parody Song Title:

"The Politician"

Parody Written by:

James Squire

The Lyrics

For my Aussie mate Busty Brasierri - you go girl!
On a warm summer's evening on a plane bound for D.C.
I met a politician, more than a little drunk
So I thought - here's my chance to get a little scandal
Sell it to the papers and make myself some bucks

He said, "I've made a life out of ripping off the system
Knowing how to fatten up, my Swiss bank account
Kickbacks, gratuities, lurks and perks and payoffs
Fiddle pre-selections and always make the count"

So I said to him "Why sir, you must be so important
The size of your portfolio has got me so impressed."
And the night got deathly quiet and his face got sly and sneaky
Said, "To be a politician, you gotta sling the bullshit best

You gotta know when to bluff "em, know when to stuff "em
Know when to throw the shit, know when to duck
You never count on nothing, unless you're counting blackmail
Never admit to anything, "n always pass the buck

Every polly knows that the secret to survival
Is knowing how to get the vote when re-election's due
Promise the bastards anything and make it sound convincing
Then blame the opposition, cause they don't have a clue

Then he drank another whiskey, passed out and started snoring
While I sat and thought about how I could get my cut
Forget the tabloid magazines, I'll be a politician
I'll stand for the election, get my snout in the trough


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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 16

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   15

User Comments

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Royce Miller - July 19, 2005 - Report this comment
Phil Alexander - July 19, 2005 - Report this comment
Yes, what Royce said :-)
Michael Pacholek - July 19, 2005 - Report this comment
I thought I smelled an Australian cow pie in Washington today... Wait, that was John Howard, kissing up to Georgie again. What's Howard's theme song, "Advance Myself Unfair"?
Red Ant - July 19, 2005 - Report this comment
Political parodies are usually slanted towards/against one side/party/person this one stands out as applicable to all politicians. Very good remake of the OS.
cmb - July 19, 2005 - Report this comment
"Know when to throw the shit, know when to duck" That was the best line in a very funny parody. Great job!
Dominic L. - August 02, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM), well paced, funny 5's. Too bad I don't get politics that much.
Dumb Ass Kid - August 05, 2005 - Report this comment
[SOTM] DKTOS, but an interesting and humourous read
Adagio - August 08, 2005 - Report this comment
[SOTM] Good one! 5's
Scathe - August 10, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Hehehe.
Charlie Decker - August 10, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I loved it! Especially as a potential future politician, I could use a primer like this.
Agrimorfee - August 11, 2005 - Report this comment
[SOTM] Very well written, without being snide or partisan for once. Cool job on a song that hasn't been used all that often. (y'all are making ti hard to decide the 5 this month!)
Jeff Reuben - August 12, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM: Not bad...the pacing is off in a few places though. Still, funny song.
Tim Mayfield - August 19, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Here's some 5's under the table and tax free.
Red Ant - August 20, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Already commented/voted, and agree with Agrimorfee; I don't have a single cut yet after reviewing most of the entries.
Peter Andersson - August 21, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM - I don't remember seeing this parody in the primaries, maybe it comes too close to the truth to be allowed to be taken seriously.
Johnny D - August 21, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Every politician's a gambler, and every gambler's a politician.
Melhi - August 24, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Don't blame me, I voted for that guy's opponent! (Hee hee hee!) Nice job.
Rick C - August 25, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Pacing is off in a few places and, it might have been more interesting had you, instead of saying "CHORUS 3X", written them out and varied them....444
Stuart McArthur - August 26, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) yes, until the "slug of whisky" line, I thought you had John Howard pretty well nailed here James - well done
Arwen - August 28, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM--Now I thought this was hilarious...a definite contender in my book...lots of laughs!
Adam Eccleshall - August 28, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Excellent song, loved the chorus :-D
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 30, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Until the "slug of whiskey line", I thought you hadn't quite nailed Bob Hawke. ;) Very well structured and written.

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