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Song Parodies -> "Granny's Bong"

Original Song Title:

"Annie's Song"

Original Performer:

John Denver

Parody Song Title:

"Granny's Bong"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Her bones lost their denseness
And her spine got too porous
Didn't help her to drink wine
Just to walk caused her pain
She was sore and her legs hurt
She would need a prescription
The pills left her senseless
The bills left her drained

One day she heard news
How they'd legalized pot use
So she went to her doctor:
"Let me try. What's the harm?
Let me tame down my spine's blues."
And her doc was a hip dude:
"Come let me drug you.
Let pot ease the pain."

[Instrumental break]

"Let some hits of weed soothe you.
Come let me drug you.
Let puffs ease your pain."

She's still somewhat senseless
And she tends to ignore us
And her house is a pig sty
But she doesn't complain
There's some holes in her sweaters
She just sleeps when not smokin'
She won't see her dentist
Her bills go unpaid

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.4
How Funny: 3.3
Overall Rating: 3.4

Total Votes: 15

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   6
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   9

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

John Barry - May 23, 2014 - Report this comment
It's the little old lady from Grassedena
Toke, granny. . . .
She's got a pretty little "flower bed that ain't gardenias

A dime bag and a half. Now how about "Granny's Thong"?
Phil Alexander - May 23, 2014 - Report this comment
Not quite what I was expecting - nicely written :)
Patrick - May 23, 2014 - Report this comment
You make some good points about both sides of the medical cannabis debate. And using a tune from the guy who gave us "Rocky Mountain High". Very singable. Most issues are not pure right/wrong, black/white. You've covered the grey areas.
Leough - May 23, 2014 - Report this comment
Thanks guys!

John: LOL at your comments. I thought about "Granny's Thong", but my muse came up blank. Go for it, and also the "Little Old Lady" idea, too.

Phil: Now you have curious as to what you were expecting.

Patrick: I'm glad you caught the not-so-obvious connection with "Rocky Mountain High." And as for grey areas (and unintended consequences) on this issue, I barely skimmed the surface.
Phil Alexander - May 25, 2014 - Report this comment
More of a stoner hippy granny sort of song rather than a medicinal pot one, I guess. Perhaps something a bit like:

You fill up your censer
With marijuana-scent insense
Wear long flowing skirts, and
Flowers in your hair
You still can't remember
What you did in the sixties
Which just goes to prove that
You were really there
Leough - May 25, 2014 - Report this comment
@ Phil:
Yes, that's funny, perhaps more so than mine. Thanks for letting me know!

I had no idea what I was going to write when I started messing with the OS. So I tried playing with the end rhymes and came up with 'denseness' and 'porous' right away. That led me to think of the title switch, which to my amazement hadn't been used yet. I went the route of medicinal pot, because that's a pretty hot topic these days in a lot of states over here. I'm kind of the go-to guy at the condo where I live when some of the senior citizens have problems that need solving. Usually the solution turns out to be something really simple, like turning a switch on or off. So I asked myself what would it be like if these very straight-laced people were under the influence of medicinal marijuana, and the answer was written in parody form.
Rex - May 25, 2014 - Report this comment
Jethro? Is that you? Excellent work, but I left wanting more -- if only the OS was longer.
Leough - May 25, 2014 - Report this comment
Rex, thanks for the v/c! I agree with you about the length of the OS--didn't leave enough room to fully develop the theme. BTW, who's Jethro? You have me stumped as to why you asked that.
Rex - May 25, 2014 - Report this comment
Jethro Bodine was the grandson of Granny on The Beverly Hillbillies, and granny was known to have an acquaintance with the wacky weed.
Leough - May 25, 2014 - Report this comment
Rex, thanks for filling me in. I never was much of a TV watcher, and that's one series I never saw. As I told Claude Prez, I haven't watched any TV at all since the switch to digital.
Phil Alexander - May 26, 2014 - Report this comment
Denseness & porous are spot-on subtitutions, so I can see what you mean.
Claude Prez - May 26, 2014 - Report this comment
Great title! And very well written, too!
Leough - May 26, 2014 - Report this comment
Thanks, Claude! And look, now I only need one more serving of 'troll house' cookies to achieve the elusive double-digit vote count!
Andy Primus - May 29, 2014 - Report this comment
Great title switch & glad to see pacing that actually matches the OS. I wish I'd thought of that title switch because I've now got some alternative subs in my head.
Leough - May 29, 2014 - Report this comment
Thanks, Andy! You won't offend me if you do your version of the title sub. Go for it!
Leo Jay - March 10, 2015 - Report this comment
Great title and execution, and nice job rhyming to the original lyric. You seem to be missing a line after the break, but really well done. And if the 'Rocky Mountain High' connection was intentional, even more impressive.

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