I know that it’s hawt to be thin and petite
That betch called me ditzy just cuz I don’t eat
Let’s see if the guy would say, “She’s a treat”
Fer shur! I’m a Valley Girl

I will be no one’s wife cause housework is for quacks
You think this bod can get preggy? That’s Grody to the Max
I’d rather fool around with guys sprayed down with Axe
Fer shur! I’m a Valley Girl

I’ve got a Gucci bag cause it’s a status symbol
If you just have a purse then you are, like, too simple
While I look like I’m from GQ your fashion has you crippled
That’s right, I’m a Valley Girl

We’ll buy shoes by the ton and spend all dad’s dough
What his girl wants she gets, Don’tcha know
Sandals, boots, and pumps that show off all our toes
Are perfect for Valley Girls

I’ll show that hot guy I am no prude
Just say the magic word and you will get me nude
But I’m super turned off when you start eating food
That's gross to us Valley Girls

If there’s a person I envy it’s that Paris Hilton
My dad just has thousands while her dad has billions
Like compared to her I’m just a lame a civilian
Fer shur! I’m a Valley Girl!

Like Wow!

All the poor working class might say that I’m cruel
But it’s not my fault that they don’t have indoor pools
Get my frickin coffee you frickin Starbucks mule
Don’t mess with a Valley Girl

I’m spending all my time getting naked on the beach
Cause if I get a tan line I’m frickin gonna screech
You’d better get those pervs way out my dang reach
Life’s tough for a Valley Girl

You try a pick-up line and I’ll just say “Whatever”
Like it’s better that way than if you try being clever
But I'd never date a guy who would actually wears pleather
Too cheap for this Valley Girl

Fer Shur!!!

Always make fun of the fatties cause they “Barf Me Out”!
They will stuff their face with pizza and they have pig snouts
All I need in a day is cigarettes, no doubt
And Tic-Tacs for Valley Girls

I never went to college cause who needs to have school
I know the “Who’s Who” of Hollywood because I’m cool
It’s not what you know but who you blow to make jewels
A sluttastic Valley Girl

Now you’ve heard my story through all my Valspeak twaddle
In my future I’m like going to really be a supermodel
Put on high heals and down the catwalk I will waddle…

Heck yes! I’m a Valley Girl