Betty Cooper's out walking with Adam down my street
From my window I'm staring while my Red Bull grows warm
Look over there! (Where?)
There's Veronica stood in front of her
Someday I'll marry Ron, Betty's better off be warned

Is Ron really going out with me?
Is Ron really gonna take me out tonight?
Though Betty's going out with Adam
Well the wealthy Veronica Lodge is always here with me
She's with me

Tonight, I'm going to Midge's birthday party at her street
That Reggie's feeling lucky Moose wasn't there
Look over there! (Where?)
Reggie's swooning over Midge once again
Ronnie's still on my side, and everything might be fair

Is Reggie really going out with Midge?
Is Reggie really gonna take her out tonight?
Veronica's always still with me
What if Moose showed up and beat the crap out of Reggie?

But if looks could kill
There's a girl there who had caught my eye
But she's standing still
Listen Ron, something's just not right
I've felt obscene, Betty's mean
Get away... Betty, please [Veronica proceeds to shave off all of Betty's hair, so Betty screams in her head]

Betty Cooper, well I hate you now
Betty Cooper, you won't ever see me tonight
But Ron, you said Betty was your friend
Now you made her your enemy once and for all this time
Betty had just gone too far
Must stay away from her
I love Veronica [kissing sounds]