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Song Parodies -> "Allison"
Original Song Title:
"Aqualung"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Jethro Tull
Parody Song Title:
"Allison"
Parody Written by:
Hu’s On First
The Lyrics
This is about former Smallville actress Allison Mack who played Chloe on the show. She ended up doing some really messed up stuff as the second-in-command of a cult called NXIVM, which was headed by Keith Raniere. People who know Allison say she started out as a victim but became a victimizer.
Sitting in the courtroom
Hearing ‘bout the girls she helped to groom
Thin as a pretzel stick
That’s the way the boss Keith likes his chicks*
Hey, Allison
They could never relax
Nor were they allowed Brazilian wax**
Hey, Allison
Every Smallville fan’s sad
How could sweet Chloe go so very bad?
Oh, Allison
So long ago
An actress who felt empty
Found a group
Where she thought she belonged
Digging in deep
She was slowly getting brainwashed
Rising towards the top
Lost weight and sleep
More than a friend
The way Keith seemed to you
A father figure too
Someone to trust
Allison my friend,
It’s not a good idea to
Put fake cow udders
On somebody’s bust***
Do you still remember
Your friend the Man of Steel
When the superhero drama
Always seemed to be so real
But now you’re helping recruit slaves
And branding them with fire
A symbol linking them to you and Keith****
So long ago
An actress who felt empty
Found a group
Where she thought she belonged
Digging in deep
She was slowly getting brainwashed
Rising towards the top
Lost weight and sleep
More than a friend
The way Keith seemed to you
A father figure too
Someone to trust
Allison my friend,
It’s not a good idea to
Put fake cow udders
On somebody’s bust***
Allison my friend
It’s not a good idea
To think someone like Keith is
Someone to trust
Sitting in the courtroom
Hearing ‘bout the girls she helped to groom
Thin as a pretzel stick
That’s the way the boss Keith likes his chicks*
Hey, Allison
They could never relax
Nor were they allowed Brazilian wax**
Hey, Allison
Every Smallville fan’s sad
How could sweet Chloe go so very bad?
Oh, Allison
Oh, Allison
Hearing ‘bout the girls she helped to groom
Thin as a pretzel stick
That’s the way the boss Keith likes his chicks*
Hey, Allison
They could never relax
Nor were they allowed Brazilian wax**
Hey, Allison
Every Smallville fan’s sad
How could sweet Chloe go so very bad?
Oh, Allison
So long ago
An actress who felt empty
Found a group
Where she thought she belonged
Digging in deep
She was slowly getting brainwashed
Rising towards the top
Lost weight and sleep
More than a friend
The way Keith seemed to you
A father figure too
Someone to trust
Allison my friend,
It’s not a good idea to
Put fake cow udders
On somebody’s bust***
Do you still remember
Your friend the Man of Steel
When the superhero drama
Always seemed to be so real
But now you’re helping recruit slaves
And branding them with fire
A symbol linking them to you and Keith****
So long ago
An actress who felt empty
Found a group
Where she thought she belonged
Digging in deep
She was slowly getting brainwashed
Rising towards the top
Lost weight and sleep
More than a friend
The way Keith seemed to you
A father figure too
Someone to trust
Allison my friend,
It’s not a good idea to
Put fake cow udders
On somebody’s bust***
Allison my friend
It’s not a good idea
To think someone like Keith is
Someone to trust
Sitting in the courtroom
Hearing ‘bout the girls she helped to groom
Thin as a pretzel stick
That’s the way the boss Keith likes his chicks*
Hey, Allison
They could never relax
Nor were they allowed Brazilian wax**
Hey, Allison
Every Smallville fan’s sad
How could sweet Chloe go so very bad?
Oh, Allison
Oh, Allison
*Women in the cult were forced to eat only 800 calories a day **Women in the cult were subjected to sleep deprivation and were not allowed to remove their pubic hair ***Women who failed to follow orders were made to wear fake cow udders over their breasts. ****Women in the cult were branded with a symbol that resembles a combination of Mack’s and Raniere’s initials.
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