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Song Parodies -> "Blind Date; A Beast"

Original Song Title:

"With You There To Help Me"

Original Performer:

Jethro Tull

Parody Song Title:

"Blind Date; A Beast"

Parody Written by:

Paul Robinson

The Lyrics

Another OS from Jethro Tull's 1970 album release, "Benefit" of my favorite albums...
Blind date's a beast
gross body odor, Yikes!
Smells like King Kong
Smelly armpits; stinky feet
Does this chick shower when she goes home?
Bad breath so vile; Yuck! Her tongue is white
It sickens me; something is not right
Gave her mouth rinse, but she would not try it

(Instrumental break)

This nasty bag really offends my nose
when she is around I don't want to breath
Man, she reeks; from her head to her toes
Damn! P.U., this ain't healthy
yeah, she's probably ill

Her toes are brown
acne is every place
Has sickening ways; is not polite
She's really stupid; she is not too bright

(Instrumental break)

She sticks her tongue right up into her nose
and tells me that boogers taste just like peas
Feeling weak; think my lunch I may blow
This chick is so disgusting
that it's making me ill

(Instrumental break)

I'm gonna gag from the smell of her clothes
It looks like she 'pooped' on herself, Oh, Jeez
Bad hygiene; on her a fungus grows
now she's spewing and belching
out gross globs of swill

That wretched hag is incredibly gross
she smells so bad it makes me want to heave
Has brown streaks on all her underclothes
Yes, her presence is Hellish
like a toxic landfill

(Long instrumental jam to end)
{Lots of retching and puking sounds along with the instrumentals}

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   4

User Comments

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Adagio - January 12, 2006 - Report this comment
Didn't I warn you about her, Paul? : D Yet you keep on dating her. lol 5's
carol - January 12, 2006 - Report this comment
time to drop her Paul. three stinky 5's
Paul Robinson - January 12, 2006 - Report this comment
Adagio - Hey, nobody's perfect, right? carol...have to find my rubber gloves to do that...thanks!
alvin rhodes - January 12, 2006 - Report this comment
and on top of all that , she was blind, too ? sad...j/k....funny as hell...and a little scary
Paul Robinson - January 12, 2006 - Report this comment
Yeah, I really felt bad when I dropped her off 4 blocks from her house...

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