(Instrumental intro)

"Christ", I sighed,
I just remembered
there on your shopping list
"Please buy me a thong"

(Instrumental)

Now I'm downtown
I'm here in the clothing store
asking this clerk for help
in buying that thong

(Instrumental)

If it's the wrong size
it might stick in her crack
Once it has been there
the store won't take it back

[Below section to notes of guitar riff]
{uh,uh,uh,uh,uh - no, they won't}
{uh,uh,uh,uh,uh - no, they won't}
{uh,uh,uh,uh,uh - no, they won't}
{uh,uh,uh,uh,uh - no, they won't}

(Longer Instrumental Jam break)


I'm standing there
holding this tiny string
clerk says this to me now
"Go try that one on"

Purchase this thing
It's just what I'm looking for
wife sent me here
to buy her this thong

(Instrumental break)

If it's the wrong size
my wife will be pissed
I'll be an asshole
and then I'll surely be 'dissed'

[To notes in guitar riff]
{oh,oh,oh,oh,oh - wife is pissed}
{oh,oh,oh,oh,oh - I'll be "dissed"}
{uh,huh,huh,huh,huh, - good-bye, bliss}
{and I will be on her sh*t list}

(Instrumental break)

Wife says to me
"Picture me in this, hon"
I see this image
of her in that thong

I paused for a while
I dare not repeat this thought
"Hey Babe, with your thighs
you should not wear a thong"

[To final guitar instrumental notes]
{no, no, wife should not wear a thong}
{'cause her legs remind me of King Kong}

{My wife should not wear a thong}

(Instrumental to end)