I'd learned to drive the Batmobile
When Bruce Wayne let me take the wheel
An old jalop' with sixties fin style
This point was mentioned at the trial
Behind the mask so no one knew
Boy Wonder now parades the truth
Wayne's bent was one more dude-i-ful
The Batmobile's a kissing booth

Exposed his 'cowl' at the boat races
Ravaged me in public places
While Harriet remained at home
Dick Grayson fed the dog a bone
Crusader said "I fancy thee"
I soon found out, to what degree
He liked to cop a feel, in Batmobile

A purple-suited tubby clown
Whose games I only could denounce
Said - "Robin see my buns, observe"
I'd rather give his ass the swerve
That rich philanthropist, it seemed
Ran in Gotham's seedy scene
With arch-enemies for company
Last year he'd started bumpin' me

Gotham, it is a town of shame
Wayne Foundation's such a pain
Commish'ner Gordon's bi you see
And Chief O'Hara winks at me
Wayne's last outrageous caped taboo
With gaming debts for payment due
Loaned me to Man of Steel, in Batmobile

( Musical interlude: *biff!* *plow!* *boff!* *grunt!* )

The Caped Crusader's lumbar pain
Impaired his little Batcave game
The Penguin, he would be appalled
Catwoman would not be enthralled
It was then it dawned on me today
I realized to my dismay
That as I drowned in love's debris
That's why I got my board for free

For the Batpole game, I do not care
Such funny biz goes on down there
When Alfred answers the Batphone
Time to prepare my slide trombone
That butler calls me "Master Dick"
I think those two are really sick
Got bugger-all raw deal, in Batmobile