You were down
In Texas
Poachin' quail on Armstrong's spread
Your license
Had no stamp for upland game

Somethin' moved in the underbrush
The booze went to your head
You wheeled and fired
Like it was Valerie Plame

He went down in a heap
Bird shot tore through Whittington and
You went runnin'
In sheer self-defense

When a Republican falls
You don't need to make a call
Your M.D.'s there, yes he is,
You've shot a friend

Just some minor flesh wounds
Pellets lodged, but he's okay
Only caused
One small cardiac arrest

Make no public statements
Lay low a few more days, now
Our president's sure to be real impressed

You just stalled and delayed
Let it boil way over and then
Went on TV
And made your amends

You accept blame and in full
Hold yourself accountable
Late-night TV's running joke

Dick Cheney's good to go
If you've shot a friend
People can be so cold
Lampoon you
Parody-tune you
On SNL do impressions
Of all your indiscretions

Brand-new laws bear your name
But since you're an NRA man
You'll be squeezin'
That trigger again

(Aw, Cheney, don't you know now)

Friendly fire's happened before
You can say you've been through war
Elmer Dick C. Fudd, yeah, yeah,

You shot a friend
You shot a friend

Elmer Dick C. Fudd,
You shot a friend
Every talk show knows
You shot a friend
Aw, yeah, yeah,
You shot a friend