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Song Parodies -> "Doctor, My Thighs"

Original Song Title:

"Doctor, My Eyes"

Original Performer:

Jackson Browne

Parody Song Title:

"Doctor, My Thighs"

Parody Written by:

Leo Jay & Arwen

The Lyrics

Doctor, my thighs are getting jeers
And the jeers lead up to tears
Get me crying
Now can you give me a hand?

I have done all that I could
But my treadmill work's no good
Now I'm hiding
This poor excuse for a can

Doctor, my thighs
Once were lean and strong
But grew in size from Kit-Kats, Ho-Hos and Ding-Dongs

How can a sweet and wholesome girl
Who loves sprinkles on her swirls
Not cave in when she gets cravings for ice cream?

But I eat more than my fill,
And the thought of diet pills is unappealing,
So I'm bursting at the seams

Doctor, my thighs
Make boys wanna flee
Can't zip my fly
Please say you'll suck out some of me

Doctor, my thighs
Need to say goodbye
Use your device...
While I lean back and have some pie

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   8

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Jeff Reuben - April 13, 2005 - Report this comment
The best song mentioning Ding Dongs since Weird Al's Fat video. Quite the creative new parody duo!
Rex - April 13, 2005 - Report this comment
mmmmm.......pie. My doctor told me I was overweight, so I got another doctor. Funny work you two.
alvin rhodes - April 13, 2005 - Report this comment
15 pounds
Rick Cormier - April 13, 2005 - Report this comment
Nice collaborative effort! I like the OS but, I'm not sure I'll ever hear the original lyrics again. 5's
Catch 23 - April 13, 2005 - Report this comment
You did a wonderful job of sucking three 5's out of me. Funny stuff: Loved the last line. 555
Johnny D - April 13, 2005 - Report this comment
I resemble those remarks! Oops, sorry, T.M.I.
Michael Pacholek - April 13, 2005 - Report this comment
My doctor told me I needed to lose weight. I asked him for a second opinion. He said, "Okay, your parodies are lousy, too!"
Arwen - April 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Jeff...thanks! Yeah...I figure I have to squeeze as much talent out of Leo as I can before he realizes that I'm using him...; ) The other day, he had a brilliant idea and let me latch on for some undeserved glory...on this one, I had a so-so idea that he salvaged brilliantly...gotta love him!

Rex...hee! Thanks!

alvin...and...15 thank yous...

Rick...I think the greatest parodies on the site (for me) are those that alter the OS in my mind forever. Example: I sing "There's a Spiral Crush" EVERY time I hear "There's a Kind of Hush." That's thanks to the Hobbits...(who I haven't seen in a while...what gives??) Aaaanyway...thanks!!

Catch 23...thanks! I also love the last line...=) Remember what I said to Jeff about Leo's talent making me look good??

Johnny...hehehe...glad you can relate...=)

Mister Pacholek...LOL! Nice...

Kristof Robertson - April 14, 2005 - Report this comment
"But grew in size from Kit-Kats, Ho-Hos and Ding-Dongs" Wonderful! 555
Leon Jaymes - April 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks everyone... Though, Arwen, I'm still wondering how you gave me top billing on YOUR parody idea (when in doubt, go alphabetical, bastard). Particularly given that this piece is spoken by a female character -- you could have at least used the Mistress to help you with this one. Anyhoo, thanks for the generous words, but um... I think you more than pulled your (newly-slenderized) weight here...
Arwen - April 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Kristof...yep, another one of Leo's lines. I'm starting to think that I suck. ; ) Thanks!

And Leo...Every once in a while, I try to be humble...(yeah right!)...I never would have finished it were it not for your got to be first. =)
Leo Jay - April 15, 2005 - Report this comment
Hey, there are no 'my lines' and 'your lines' in a collaboration -- minds merge as one.
Arwen - April 16, 2005 - Report this comment
Sweet. Next time we submit something together, it'll go under Arwen Jay. Or Leo the Elf. Two Minds Merge into One Sexy Bastard.
B Alcorn - April 28, 2006 - Report this comment
This collaborative parody might not get the recognition that Take It Easy has earned, but it a hell of a lot funnier! "But I eat more than my fill" scans nicely!
Arwen - April 28, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks, B Alcorn!
Leo Jay - April 08, 2013 - Report this comment
Ha, I'd forgotten about this one!

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