You must have seen parties of Suckheads,
With pale insipid skin,
Suckheads with blood splattered on their teeth,
What a horrible state they're in,

They like women with breasts, huge heaving chests
Virgins are their favourite,
Go straight for the jugular, sinking their fangs in,
The blood spurts and they savour it

You must have seen Suckheads in loads of films
In long black capes and boots
Then there's naff ol' Eileen
In her PVC catsuit

They shy away from garlic and crosses
You can kill 'em with a sharpened stake
They may be 'Vlad the Lad' when moon is out
But they're all fucked come daybreak

Don't worry at night about Suckheads,
They can't come and go as they please,
But don't even begin to invite them in,
You might as well give them the keys

(spoken)
How would you like one sucking and slurping on your life blood?
Or crawling down your bedroom wall?

Bigger brained Suckheads often acquire,
Minions called 'Renfields',
Who do their master's bidding,
For the favours that they yield

'Drink your fill,' they say to Suckheads
'Go on, turn me Master, please'
Their pitiful cries and pleading eyes,
They're just all sad wannabees

Why should we be scared of these Suckheads?
Superior though they are
If you track it by day and find where it lays
Once staked it won't go very far
(spoken)
Imagine finding one asleep in a coffin?
Banging stakes in it's cold dead heart!

Why bother at all about Suckheads?
Why should you care what they do?
Cos after they have fed and gone
You'll be a Suckhead tooooo!

Suckheads!
Suckheads!
Suckheads.!..