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Song Parodies -> "I'm A Woman"

Original Song Title:

"I Am Woman"

Original Performer:

Helen Reddy

Parody Song Title:

"I'm A Woman"

Parody Written by:

Patrick McWilliams

The Lyrics

Americans have always been able to choose a president. And argue with each other over the choice. But, this year, on a more intimate level, President Obama issued an executive order granting Americans the right to choose their gender, regardless of the plumbing they were born with. And thus enabling them to access the plumbing of their choice when necessity arises. There are so many genders out there now that I am not inclined to even investigate. I suppose gender identity can be a fleeting thing, a whim of the moment, to be embraced or discarded at will. Still, I admire a fellow like the one described here who takes his commitments seriously and does things the old-fashioned way.
I'm a woman, somewhat sore
Because I was a man before
And the surgeons did some snipping here and there
Just to be what I must be
I underwent some surgery
In the process I both lost and gained a pair

Yes I changed my guise
I was born again in pain
Scalpel took a slice
But there's some things I retain
See, I had to, I would do anything
Wasn't wrong (wrong)
Some scars are visible (they're visible)
Now I'm woman

You can bend and mold and shape me
Cause the feeling won't escape me
Transformation--I'll achieve my final goal
Though the doctor came to sever
My unwanted gear shift lever
I'm a tranny now, in body and in soul

Yes, between my thighs
I still feel a lot of pain
But I have my prize
So I sing this glad refrain
"If I want to, I can be anything!"
Felt the knife (knife)
I took some hormone shots (some hormone shots)
Now I'm woman

Well it took some nerves of steel
I am standing in high heels
Doesn't hurt to fall, but it sure hurts to land
This is my experiment
And I've nothing to lament
Don't give a damn if you don't understand

So, please call me "Miss"
And so you won't have to guess
I don't stand to piss
I always wear a dress
If I have to, I can go anywhere
"Mister's" gone (gone)
No longer masculine (or chauvinist)
I'm a woman

Yes, I'm woman
I'm such a woman
I am not eunuchoid
"He" is gone
I'm a woman
I ain't no castrato
I'm a woman!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 16

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   15

User Comments

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Rob Arndt - December 23, 2016 - Report this comment
Hmm... same topics today! 555! But a post-op transgender could legally use the anatomical restrooms without restriction. It's the pre-ops that worry most people (IE she-males and the pervy serious transvestite guys). However, most violence occurs WHEN transgender use the correct restrooms while looking like opposite sex!
Mr. Garrison's Fancy New Vagina - December 24, 2016 - Report this comment
Garrison: "But that would mean I'm just a... a freak with mutilated genitals!"

Abortionist: "Basically, yes."
Patrick - December 28, 2016 - Report this comment
Mr Garrison, in the absence of a uterine transplant, you are exactly right.
witless X - March 28, 2017 - Report this comment
I am woman, your a dork the doc forgot to test you with a fork half baked non-sense spouts out from yer end Imagine you have a sickness; it causes you to grow breasts, and hips and yer voice rises to the point were EVERYONE thinks yer a chick. Ordering pizza on the phone, the guy says, "That'll be 30 minutes, have a nice day ma'am." You continue acting as you normally do, but people keep remarking on yer behavior. You say, no I'm a guy, I have this disease, and they go, "Ohhh." but you can tell they don't really believe you, bc they say it with a squint. Then you go into the men's room bc that's where you're comfortable, but the guys freak out or more likely, assume yer there for sex and start hitting on you. Yer like, "guys, look, i stand to pee alright, it's a disease." Then, when you reach in you realize, "holy poop! It's gone WTF!" so now you carry around with you the lab results showing an analysis of your genetic make up, "See, Bubba, I got me a Y chromosome too, well ..MOSTLY Y chromosomes." do some research, your mother has your DNA in her, and you likely have your mother's DNA in you, reproducing and making you what you are. Google it. Then the doctor calls and says, it turns out, the XX's are spreading and taking over and you no longer have any Y boys left (sad face). and no one gives a rats anus about yer claims of being a guy. The world has decided for you what you are. I am willing to bet that you would still believe yourself to be a man. and why would you be right? Because what makes you a man is something other than genitalia, or chromosomes. They do affect it, but they don't define it from a simple binary set of choices. That binary set of choices is for procreation, "I'll carry the baby, you go get food." The chromosomes then attempt to shape behavior in a way that supports successful rearing of offspring, which includes attitude. Unfortunately nature also figured out that chromosomes cannot set up the whole picture, so it invented hormones to help. After all this is said and done it turns out the mixing of the stew doesn't always end up in a perfect binary support system or a perfect binary reproductive system. voila homos and trannies. We exist, educate yourself and get over it.

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