Song Parodies -> "Yoga Night"

Original Song Title:

"Boogie Nights"

^(MP3)

Original Performer:

"Yoga Night"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

Okay people. This year, I swear I'm really going to do yoga. I'm going to go to class regularly, like three or four times a week. And if I don't go, I'm going to practice on my own at home. I'm totally ready to get started. I've got my extra thick mat, my gym membership which I almost never use, and my Enya CD, and my yoga pants, and yellow stretchy bands, and some really cool purple foam blocks, and a giant FlexaBall, and a lavender filled eye mask for the last part, and a blanket made in Nepal, and a painting of Savana and Rita on the wall, and a Buddha candle made of beeswax, and a Ganesh statue, and a book by Alan Watts which I haven't had time to read, and a pair of bronze bells on a string, and a zabuton for sitting. Yes!!! But first, I need to get a sweatband.

Yoga night, whoa!
Yoga night, whoa!

(Yoga night, yoga night)
(Yoga night) "Settle down,
Stop your brainless chatter!"
(Yoga mats) "Roll 'em out,
Facing toward your master!"

Bend with the yogi, stretch out--
(Downward, you doggies, face down)
This yoga class is
Always a dressing down!

"Got to keep those abs in, keep those abs in!
Got to keep those abs in, keep those abs in!"

(Yoga night) "Eagle pose,
Interlock your thumbs now!"
(Yoga night) "Spread your toes,
Hold in those stink bombs now!"

Sun salutation, bend down--
(Sun salutation, bend down)
These yoga tights are
All made to see through now!

Got to keep on starin', keep on starin'!
Got to keep on starin', keep on starin'!

(Gnarly night) "Twist and grunt, but keep your motions fluid!"
(Hams are tight) "Fluid, fluid!"
(Gnarly night) Try to block out the Yanni-like music!
(Yoga night) Stupid music!

(Yoga night) "Nostril right,
Focus on deep breathing!"
(Yoga night) Hamstrings tight,
Funk me with this tree thing!

Pants-stretching booty workout--
(Pants-stretching booty workout)
My piriformis
Snapped but it wasn't loud!

Balance tree pose chancing, tree pose chancing
Balance tree pose chancing, tree pose chancing
(Yoga night, yoga night)
Balance tree pose chancing, tree pose chancing
(Yoga night, yoga night)
Balance tree pose chancing, tree pose chancing

"Twist like a pretzel, sit down!
(Twist like a pretzel, sit down)
Stick out your tongue and
Smile like a circus clown!"

Lumbar disc is blasted, disc is blasted!
Lumbar disc is blasted, disc is blasted!

(Gnarly night) "Let's all do a headstand!" I feel useless!
(Yoga night) Useless, useless!
(Gnarly night) Crippled now, heard my neighbor say, "Screw this!
(Yoga night) Screw this, screw this!"

(Yoga night) "Sit back down,
Butt-cheeks gently parted!"
(Yoga night) What the funk?
Guy next to me farted!

Nasty aromas abound--
(Nasty aromas abound)
'Cause yogi warned you'll
All break a windy sound!

Butt-fume breeze is acrid, breeze is acrid!
Butt-fume breeze is acrid, breeze is acrid!

(Yoga night, whoa)
Squats do need more practice, need more practice!
Squats do need more practice, need more practice!
(Yoga night, whoa)
Gonna need a back-brace, need a back-brace!
Gonna need a back-brace, need a back-brace!

(Yoga night, whoa)
If you're not a yogi, newbie, go to yoga night!
(Yoga night, whoa)
If you're not a yogi, newbie, go to yoga night!

[Repeat]

Yoga night, whoa!
Yoga night, whoa!

[Repeat]

©Bob "Gonna Need Some Traction, Need Some Traction" Gomez 2017

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