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Song Parodies -> "Beltway Guerilla"

Original Song Title:

"Urban Guerilla"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Beltway Guerilla"

Parody Written by:

Wallace Runnymede

The Lyrics

I’m a Beltway guerrilla
Trade wars to the highest seller
I’m a tinpot Godzilla
Universal kiddy-killer

I’m a street-bombing prancer
A global-heating moral cancer
A swift-declining Panzer
Double-serpent-tongued pretender

But let’s not talk about peace and ethics
And kids that don’t explode
We’re losing all of our respect and honour
Universal chaos motherlode, yeah baby

A humanitarian bandit
Don’t pretend you understand it
Can’t make the world a safe place
When it’s a disobedient planet

I’m an omnipotent doom-conductor
The ultimate means of mass destruction
I’m a far-off wreckage constructor
A democracy abductor

So watch out dear Miss Syrian kid
Your hospice is gonna fold
We said we only kill ISIS types
But the plebs don’t even know, we’re ‘right’ now

I’m an IntCom guerrilla all right
Final interlude coming, watch out!

Listen, don’t be a fool now
Gotta gotta gotta be ruled
Gotta be a fool, ‘cos you’re acting like you know it
Gotta be a fool, your uncivil disobedience gonna blow it

Gotta be a fool, giving me headache by my front door
Gotta be a fool, stop criticizing me, you stupid whore
Gotta be a fool, uppity types banging on my back door
Gotta be a fool, can’t listen to no non-subservience no more

Gotta be a fool, arrest you and pass you round the shower
Gotta be a fool, don’t you wave that fist at me…
Gotta be a fool, you drool!

Gotta be a fool, we’re all in this together
Gotta be a fool, I’ve pronounced I shall betray thee never
Gotta be a fool, I am not the ONLY lying one
Gotta be a fool, nation’s Presidents must have our place in the sun

Gotta be a fool, we all live in One True Global Village
Gotta be a fool, ample reason for me to loot and pillage

Gotta be a fool, fool, fool, fool, fool, fool
To Our Lord of misrule, rule, rule, rule, rule,
Did you know it’s me?

Darling, Sweetheart, Madame Beefheart, pay attention to the rules, you fools…

And to the Ruler of the Cosmos
Watch out!
I’m a Beltway guerrilla
Trade wars to the highest seller
I’m a tinpot Godzilla
Universal kiddy-killer

I’m a street-bombing prancer
A global-warming moral cancer
A rapidly declining panther
Double-serpent-tongued pretender!
Originally published on Site name.and Site name. My general blog is: Site name

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 2.5
How Funny: 2.5
Overall Rating: 2.5

Total Votes: 15

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   8
 2   1
 3   1
 4   1
 5   4

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Rob Arndt - September 29, 2015 - Report this comment
A swift-declining Panzer? Please explain yourself as the Panther killed at 7:1, the Tiger I at 8:1, and the King Tiger at 10:1. The modern Leopard 2A7++ is by far the greatest tank in the world. By 2017 it will be fitted with Rheinmetall Laserflak 50-100Kw side cannons to kill drones and counter attack helos! The Leopard 3 already exists to test the new 140mm main gun.
Wallace Runnymede - September 30, 2015 - Report this comment
It is true that the US army is well equipped, I would guess probably the best equipped in the world by some distance. I don't doubt the bravery, loyalty or character of the soldiers either. Every country needs an army, and whatever the rights and wrongs of policy are, nothing I have ever written has been anti-soldier. People are given a job, and they do it. I think bashing soldiers themselves directly or indirectly (when after all it is not them who make policy!) is very cheap and opportunistic, and I would not do it myself, nor would I respect someone who did so. But I would also say that the song is essentially a dark or 'gallows humour' transformation of the original song. It's not meant to make complete sense, or be literal throughout. The point about the Panzer is a bit of a creative transformation of the original, and is not meant to be a prose discussion of the topic. Books could be written on the rights and wrongs, but the song parody is there for enjoyment or even for a bit of thinking, but isn't intended as a substitute to play the role of other forms of writing. Sorry for the length, but I wanted to make clear what I am doing here. Thanks for your comment. It sounds like technology is advancing more and more.
Wallace's Grandma - September 30, 2015 - Report this comment
Contrived piece of nothing...
Wallace Runnymede - October 01, 2015 - Report this comment
Thanks Grandma! Always enjoying hearing your opinion.

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