My Wife Took Off

My wife took off just the other day
On a business trip a hundred miles away
I've got frozen dinners and a microwave
McDonalds is only seven blocks away
I'm a big boy now, thought I could fend for myself
But after only a week I need her help

Because the dishwasher's broke
The microwave's on the blink
Dishes and pans are piled high in the sink
When you coming home dear, I don't know when
I guess it's McDonalds till then

When I washed my clothes they came out blue
My socks, my jeans and my white shirts too
So I spent a bundle at the clothing store
If you don't hurry home I'll have to buy some more
And I really don't mind that my underwear's blue
But I sure am missing you

Because the dishwasher's broke
The microwave's on the blink
Dishes and pans are piled high in the sink
When you coming home dear, I don't know when
I guess it's McDonalds till then

I got a speeding ticket on the way to work
He fined me $50 more for calling him a jerk
At the office my desk was piled four feet high
My computer was down and so was I
And I can't sleep at night cause I'm all alone
And I sure do wish you were home

Because the dishwasher's broke
The microwave's on the blink
Dishes and pans are piled high in the sink
When you coming home dear, I don't know when
I guess it's McDonalds till then

After three weeks my wife called at work today
She asked how I've been doing and I said okay
Then she started to laugh and said I'm calling from home
I've been cleaning all day and I'm still not done
Let's eat out tonight what do you say dear?
Meet me at McDonalds not far from here

And as I hung up the phone I began to cry
If I eat there again I'll just die

She found the dishwasher broke
The microwave on the blink
Dishes and pans were piled high in the sink
Now that you're home dear, I don't know when
I'll ever eat at McDonalds again