Spartan livin'pain in the a**
Spartan lovin'with pederasts
I met a girl; wasn't to be
Coz I turned twelve; joined the army!

Spartan ways- learnin' to slay
Be-ecause all good Spartans fight
(Hellas, Hellas, Hellas, huh!)
Off to war, off to war
And we haven't been beat
We're hardcore, we're hardcore
Gen-e-rals like young meat!

In the a.m., hone discus skills
In the p.m., man-on-man thrills
This Spartan life; who could want more?
Grab a Trojan, just to be sure

Spartan fun- throw jave-lun
But uh- oh those Spartan nights
(fellas, fellas, fellas, huh!)
Off to war, off to war
On to Athens we'll push
Feet are sore, feet are sore
But then, so is my tush-oowop
Shoo-wop, shoo-wop yeah!

Thursday, we're in-vading Corinth
Generals tell us, "Don't give an inth"
My CO's hard as a rock
Took me to his home for co.ffee

Spartans, tough- train in the buff
And uh- check that Spartan size
(swell-ah, swell-ah, swell-ah, huh!)
Off to war, off to war
Leaving loved ones at home
On a tour, on a tour
Persia, Cyprus and Rome!

The Olympicswe must compete
Try out the wrestling; it's really ne-eat
Two strong lads; muscular, oiled
One the winner- the other despoiled

Spartan life- kids and a wife
But uh- oh those Spartan guys
(men, men, men, oh!)
Off to war, off to war
With our long swords and spears
Blood will pour, blood will pour
Then we'll get in some beers

(Slow bit)

I'm retired, settled at home
I "acquired" a boy of my o-own
Killin' foesgreat memories
Bunkin' down.with Hercules

Spartan dreamsbrutal regimes
Bu-ut uh.those Spa-artan
Guy-uys!!!
(Off to war, off to wa-a-a-ar.)