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Song Parodies -> "The Rack Of Miss Fannie Fitzgerald"

Original Song Title:

"The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald"

Original Performer:

Gordon Lightfoot

Parody Song Title:

"The Rack Of Miss Fannie Fitzgerald"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

The legend lives on from the slip and bra on down
Of great hooters, the huge kind, "Bazoomy"
One pair, it was said, dwarfed an elephant's head
Just the thought sends big goose pimples thru me

Old timers swear that Miss Fannie tucked there
What a dozen girls might, lumped together
Perked nips would protrude, and spawn looks very lewd
For her pillowy charms, softly feathered

Fan's bulbs were the pride of Joe Luck, at her side
Bodyguard on the burley "Q" circuit
As great headliners go, she was gifted with so
Much to offer, and knew how to work it

Her Pams stalked the stage, like big cats in a lace cage
Proudly cleft, fully loaded from cleave-land
And late every night, from that cage, sprang a sight
That would send any man, wildly reelin'

Soft lingerie dropped with a whispering sound
As Fannie disrobed, ever slowly
Climaxing the show..were her great globes of glow
Their appearance was like something holy

As silk straps slid down, heavy heartbeats would pound
Syncopating with drumbeat and music
The full bosom freed, caused a hush stampede
As tho' staged and rehearsed, quite acoustic..

Physicians stood by, for those "stricken from shock"
To administer strong salts for smellin'
For some wounded worse, they would summon a nurse
Who gave great CPR to the fallen

Outdoors, lined a throng, stretching many blocks long
Snarling traffic, with streets quite imperiled
As wide eyes would wait..for just one glimpse of the great
Famous Rack of Miss Fannie Fitzgerald

Does anyone know where such great tatas go
When Pa Time tosses ladies their hurdle,
As they shrivel and shrink, like spoiled fruit on the sink,
Leaving excess to tuck in a girdle..

Then a charge, so large, it resembles a barge
Can hang like hooked beef gone to slaughter
With one miracle gone, pray the Gods pass it on
In the genes, to a voluptuous daughter..

As the hourglass streams, and the fat lady sings
Fannie's hooters decrease their expansions
The Grand Twins of Esteem, once delighting men's dreams
Peak no more like pink pretty mansions

Faded are days of their glorious displays
And, like vaudeville, remain etched in history
Our First Lady of Breast has passed over the crest
And her whereabouts now, seem a mystery..

Being sort of a buff..of burlesque stars and stuff
I research on the web, old time striptease
And learn, to my dismay, where poor Fannie is today
..Testing wheelbarrows at Home Depot Fact'ries

So, the legend goes on, from the slip and bra on down
Although now, sadly saggin' 'cause they're old
Tales from old men's lips can still bring drooling drips
For The Rack Of Miss Fannie Fitzgerald..

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   10

User Comments

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Jeff Reuben - June 21, 2007 - Report this comment
Nice job on one of the classics! This was a hoot =) Many, many good lines!
Michael Pacholek - June 21, 2007 - Report this comment
It wouldn't be an official "Wreck" parody if I didn't at least comment. This one had its good points -- two of them, in fact (old joke) -- but it seems like a feminine version of Johnny D's "The Erection of Edmund Fitzgerald." A little too derivative. So I can't give it a perfect score. I just hope I haven't taken all the good ideas for this song.
Jack Wilson - June 21, 2007 - Report this comment
Title caught my attention, awesome job!
alvin - June 21, 2007 - Report this comment
loved the "big cats in a lace cage" line best, but there were several great "bustlines"
McKludge - June 21, 2007 - Report this comment
555 I guess you're a breast man. I'm an a$$ man, because my friends are always telling me, "You're an a$$, man."
-- shamelessly stolen from Rodney Dangerfield
AFW - June 21, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks, Jeff, for vote and comment...and thanks for the vote, Michael...but let me add..the only version this parody was derived from was the original song..I never, or at least to my conscious knowledge, copy or borrow ideas from other writers material...I don't feel that because a parody has a sexual theme, has to mean the idea was taken or derived from some other writer's sexual version of the same saying this, I am, in no way, inferring that my meager entry is anywhere near the best parody of TWOTEF..In fact, I'm deeply honored that you would compare it, even in this negative fashion, to the great Johnny "D" version....I make special efforts to strive for originality and always attempt to use only ideas and lines stolen from my own head, whacky as they may be...Well, anyway, so goes my opinion, and of course, you're entitled to yours.................and thanks Jack and alvin for votes and nice comments
AFW - June 21, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks, McKludge...but, no, I couldn't say I place one above the other, although The Great Maker did...
Kristof Robertson - June 21, 2007 - Report this comment
I love TWOTEF parodies.
I love nork parodies

Which makes this aDouble D Pammy whammy!!! 555+
Johnny D - June 21, 2007 - Report this comment
What Kristof said! And thanks, Michael and AFW, for the words of praise for "The Erection of Edmund Fitzgerald" - it was the first parody I ever posted on AmiRight, and although it's not technically a complete parody of every verse of the OS, I think it still "stands on its own" ... ;-)
Dee Range - June 21, 2007 - Report this comment
One of the Great Ed Fitz's ever to grace the pages of Amiright. 555++++

Don't worry about MP's slight is what he once said about MINE, posted under my real name in 2004:

"Michael Pacholek - February 18, 2004 - Report this comment No. Quite disgusting, and unlike some of the WEF parodies, not nearly funny enough to make up for it. Whoever Edmund was, he's turning over in his grave. And how did this get past Chucky's blue pencil?

His rating, for a parody that before the vote crash had 35 straight 5-5-5's?.....4-2-2....everybody else loved it, according to the comments, and despite his liking Johnny D's great sexually themed 'Fitz', he despised mine.

Here is Johnny D's comment on my same parody MP gave me 4-2-2

Johnny D - February 18, 2004 - Report this comment Paul, YES!! You made it past the censor with style, dude, with style! Great job here. I agree with Guy - this has "hit" dribbling down its phallus and thighs.You can search "For my girlfriend, Ellen Fitzgerald" if you want to read it.

So many great lines here AFW, This is one of your very best, and that's saying a LOT....kinda like the TOP RACK here :-)
AFW - June 21, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks, Kristof......and thanks, Johnny Dee....and thank you for your support and comments, Dee....never realized that Paul W. was you...extra funny and fantastic job, there.
AFW - June 21, 2007 - Report this comment
Oops..a correction..thanks Johnny D...
Dee Range - June 21, 2007 - Report this comment
AFW....thanks for the compliment on my own Ellen Fitz, nice of you to look for it, and read it. If you get a chance, could you send me a PM on the Messageboard pages? Never see your name there, so I don't know how to get in touch with you. Thanks again :-)
Red Ant - June 22, 2007 - Report this comment
Lotsa great lines here, AFW, very funny. Loved "nips" and "cleave-land" especially. Don't know if my vote took, but I voted 555.
John Barry - June 22, 2007 - Report this comment
This tits Fitz is one of the best.
AFW - June 22, 2007 - Report this comment
Thank you, Red Ant, and John

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