-> "That Heck Of A Feminist, Cheryl"
Original Song Title:
"The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald"
Parody Song Title:
"That Heck Of A Feminist, Cheryl"
The legend lives on although Cheryl's long gone
Her achievements we'll always remember
for she was the wick of that proud candlestick
that burnt bras to empower her gender
The day she was born Cheryl didn't seem normal
a mixed-up though gifted young baby
Her mother forswore when the doc cut the cord
she cried "Mummy don't let him castrate me"
And when she was three, she said "Pink's just not me
and I can't stand those dolls that I play with"
She went to her room and repainted it blue
and put posters up of Rita Hayworth
She said "In the toilet, I'll wee like a boy! It
is unfair to stereo-type me"
Her mum said "But Cher, you'll just spray everywhere"
She said "So buy more paper to wipe me"
When Cheryl left school her mum told her "Now you'll
need to learn how to take down dictation"
but with her first boss, Cheryl found that she was
better talented at dickdilation
She rose to the top - pinched the CEO's job
by seducing him, much to his peril
He quit in disgrace and his staff heard him say
"You're a heck of a feminist Cheryl"
A lightbulb appeared when she read Germaine Greer
and thought "This macho world I can conquer!"
She vowed there and then to outsmart lesser men
and let only celebrities bonk her
Her bras she burnt next - and she read Joy of Sex
and was quite the seductress by thirty
She'd search through the city to find Warren Beatty
whenever she "felt kinda dirty"
She took life's rewards but she quickly got bored
so a NASA course Cheryl enrolled in
They said "Sorry pet, but we don't drill girls yet"
which she laughed at by bonking Buzz Aldrin
Her next escapade was to conquer LA
which she did, taking duties on (mayoral)
and the grapevine is sure that Mary Tyler Moore
based her TV-role "Mary" on Cheryl
She then employed sex to infect politics
hoping Richard M. Nixon to demote
Though Bernstein and Woodward claim they shot the bullet
t'was she who played Deep Throat to Deep Throat
It wasn't by chance that she quickly advanced
(her political skills were self-evident)
and one frosty morn, on the White House front lawn
she announced her campaign to be president
When it came to the vote, the American folk
were as ready for her as they'd ever be
Then tragic but true, she made one fatal blue
she went out on a date with Ted Kennedy
At her funeral wake, over coffee and cake
stood the famous - like Oprah and Meryl
Their grief was utmost as they all drank a toast
"To that heck of a feminist...Cheryl!"
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|How Funny: ||4.8|
|Overall Rating: ||4.8|
|Total Votes: ||31|
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