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Song Parodies -> "Introducing Myself to amiright-dot-com"

Original Song Title:

"The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald"

Original Performer:

Gordon Lightfoot

Parody Song Title:

"Introducing Myself to amiright-dot-com"

Parody Written by:

Glenn Walker

The Lyrics

This song is neither brag nor complaint. It's lengthy, but that's the nature of the challenge of Edmund Fitzgerald parodies. They test your will more than your skill. Parts of this were difficult to write. I will not be offended if some of you tell me "too long, didn't finish."
I’ll tell you my story, but I don’t want vainglory
All things praiseworthy, praise goes to Jesus
The Scriptures they tell of a Lake-of-Fire dwell
And there’s nobody lake-bound that frees us.
With a sin load to bear, it is not wise to err
By building your own plan for forgiveness.
Forever’s at stake, do not make the mistake
Of rejecting God’s life-fixing business.

In August I become septuagenarian
So I ‘ve overcome my share of trials
For 25 years, I’ve dodged Parkinson’s spears
But no pain, I can stay in denial.
My weight’s under control, I look good: one loophole.
Tremors - my body thinks: exercising.
But I don’t sleep at night when the sun don’t shine bright
‘Stead I lie in my bed analyzing

(anything! … whatever my mind cooks up for me that night!)

Was born on a Tuesday in Phil’dephia P-A
Norristown was where I was a resident.
My love was the Phillies, I still get the willlies.
They lost 10 straight games plus the pennant.
Piano, I learned, but the clarinet earned
Me a stipend for college tuition
Somehow, I did see, knowing stats was the key.
I’d turn into a sports statistician


Post High School it seems all my hopes, goals and dreams
They required a College degree.
Now don ‘t get me wrong, but it’s part of my song:
The 2-S draft status seemed for me.
I then studied math, it was part of the path
I could get a degree without reading.
So I added Physics, in grad school, Statistics
I rushed it, today I’m conceding

With 13 years passed since I last sat in class,
I began a scholastic endeavor.
One class at a time, past the peak of my prime
Took a score of my time, but whatever.
In seminary, though discretionary
I studied for M.Div.* credentials. * Master of Divinity
It was 2009. I was standing in line
With the others who’d learned the essentials.

It happened in August, (not to sound too immodest)
Of the year that I first graduated
A man who was older listened over my shoulder
Overheard as my background I’d stated.
Then when we were done, the man had me alone
And he asked in a voice slightly scary,
“I’ve heard your CV. You’d excel, can’t you see,
If your job became an actuary.”

I asked what that meant. He began to present
Some fellows he’d known gone before me
He answered so well that I hardly could tell
If he’s talking ‘bout them fellows or me.
I never looked back, never had a setback
I think maybe that man was God’s angel
It’s been 49 years since I met my first peers
The old man ‘s advice has proven gainful.

Got married one June; life wonderf’ly in tune
Spent two weeks on the beaches of Maui
Along came a girl, then a boy, then a girl
Then a boy, then a girl. Even now, we
Would do it again if time travel had been
Invented and we were back in our 20’s
Now don ‘t get me wrong, but it’s part of my song:
We broke up after 21 years married

A couple years later, this Ches’peake Bay Stater [Maryland not Massachusetts]
To raise five alone got quite lonely
The church bells they chimed, marriage license was signed
She was blessed with four kids of her own-ly
It’s been 23 years full of hopes full of fears
There were times that we feared we’d not make it
With ten grandkids too, sometimes feels like a zoo
With much prayer and God’s hand we can take it.

Thank you for reading

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 16

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   15
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User Comments

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Amiright Welcoming Committee - February 08, 2024 - Report this comment
We represent the Amiright Guild, the Amiright Guild, the AMIRIGHT Guild ... And in the name of the Amiright GUILD .. we welcome you to Parody Land
Glenn Walker - February 08, 2024 - Report this comment
I was glad to see your comment I accept the welcome on it Writ in parody domain With the iIQ of a locust I could figure out your OS If I only. Had a brain.
CML - February 08, 2024 - Report this comment
Now that is a high honor indeed, being officially welcomed by the Amiright Guild of Parody Masters, as it is comprised of every author who has managed to parody each of the "Big Seven". You have already done two -- Major General and Edmund. The Five remaining are "American Pie, Blinded By The Light, Supercali-, Bohemian Rhapsody and the last one, I think its " I Put a Spell On You" (Inside joke) .. Actually the last one may be " My Favorite Things" ........ IMHO, either Bo Rhap or Super Cali- should drop out in favor of "We Didnt Start The Fire", which is MUCH more challenging
Glenn Walker - February 08, 2024 - Report this comment
Lennie, Did you miss my parody called The Challenge published January 31?
The Parody Author - February 08, 2024 - Report this comment
Welcome Glenn Walker! I appreciate you putting in your time to leave meaningful comments. Shame the bogus votes have totally destroyed the voting system which NOBODY will address.
Glenn Walker - February 08, 2024 - Report this comment
Edmund Fitzgerald can be retired from the list with no tears from me. I think that it made the list because of the word volume. But it becomes an easier task when you see it as a meter of 5 syllables, 6 syllables, and then 10 syllables. That becomes a couplet (2 lines). In this song, 4 couplets make a verse, and the OS had 7 verses. (The parody version had 9 verses.) But I never dealt with more than 10 syllables at a time, and that was manageable. It just took a long time to finish the song. "Supercal.... is the same way, except a verse is 4 lines of 14 syllables - still manageable. But Supercal... should remain on the list for an entirely different reason.
Creeping Irrelevance - February 08, 2024 - Report this comment
Since it’s been on the site often lately, we should substitute “Rhythm Steps” for the Edmund Fitzgerald song on the “Big Seven”. Oh wait, anyone can parody “Rhythm Steps”: Just use Browserling’s word replacer and you can create ten variations within an hour.
Glenn Walker - February 08, 2024 - Report this comment
Continued Part 2. Supercal... should stay on the list with a proviso that the "Um diddle, diddle diddle, um diddle ay" verse should be parodied as well. It's too big a chunk of the song (the entire 2nd verse) to risk someone claiming that it's an integral part. Parodying as lyrics-only is ok. But it's not clear what would happen if a performer were to leave 44 syllables intact from the original. Plus, we will have made the song more difficult to parody. I am not an attorney, so I'll leave it at that.
Glenn Walker - February 08, 2024 - Report this comment
I recommend we substitute Edmond Fitzgerald with the Beatles' "I've Just Seen a Face." 3 verses, 1 line per verse, 33 syllables plus 2 internal rhymes per line. Allow credit for +/- 2 syllables IF the flow of the song is not damaged. Do not announce the credit criteria. =================================================== I recommend we keep American Pie, but disallow credit if it begins "A long, long time ago.
Glenn Walker - February 09, 2024 - Report this comment
The interesting thing about I’ve Just Seen q. Face is that it’s only been attempted 22 times. It’s not like it’s hiding in obscurity on Rubber Soul. But those that I surveyed were all well written parodies - even if some had offensive subject matter. Only the skillful even attempt it. Every one I reviewed had exactly 33 syllables in all 3 verses. I think it would be a great addition to the Big Seven ===================================== Other possible replacements. Replace Be Our Guest with The Lonely Goatherd. The challenge of both songs is coming up with the same rhyme incessantly throughout the song. Lonely Goatherd has been attempted 4 times. I was interested in how they handled the yodel lines. Two of them left them unparodied. One parodied the yodel lines beyond recognition. I had trouble following it because it went into great detail about military equipment. The remaining parody was the first listed in the Search. It featured a very clever parody of the yodel lines that kept the yodel effect intact. But I have to give it an R/X rating. ================================= Replace Blinded by the Light with Joseph’s Coat. From Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream coat. It’s lengthy, but what makes it interesting is the 45-fold list at the end. It’s never been attempted, and it’s not because it hasn’t occurred to anyone. I know that because it has a sister song, Jacob and. Sons, which has been parodied. It’s h are to wind down Jacob and Sons without automatically phasing into Joseph’s Coat. ================•===================== I surveyed 35 parodies of American Pie looking only at the first line. I wanted to know how prevalent “A long long time ago” actually is. Weird Al with all his talent, begins his parody with “A long long time ago.” The survey results are hard to interpret. 26 of the 35 parodies I surveyed began that way. But 14 were from the same author, and all 14 began that way. Of the 9 that started differently, 1 was posted in triplicate under three different names. Of the 6 that remain, one was a duplicate (again under different names). That leaves 6 unique alternate opening lines. Five of the six clearly referred to some length of time ago The only real departure from “A long…” is the one submitted three times.
CML - February 10, 2024 - Report this comment
As long as we're redefining the Big Seven, consider "Along Comes Mary" due to its intricate rhyming scheme. Thats what puts "Blinded by the Light" in the mix ... And one of the factors for Big Sevenhood is familiarity. These are all well known songs (excepting Major General, I suppose)
Callmelennie - February 10, 2024 - Report this comment
Up until just now, I had not seen either your parody "The Challenge" or your comment. Well, it looks like you may be up to the task of doing all seven ;-D ... As for me, I've done Bo Rhap and Supercali- many times and Major General once. But one thing I have done is the ENTIRE Abbey Road album on one subject .. America's propensity to being overweight due to crappy dietary habits .. which I entitled "Flabby Road." ... I have submitted a petition to the World Parody Council to count that as not one but two Big Seven substitutions. At the moment this motion has been sent to a special Amiright Study Group. Inasmuch as I submitted this ten years ago, I'm beginning to suspect that they are stonewalling me.
CML's Firstborn Child - February 10, 2024 - Report this comment
Also I'm a fraud.

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