Urb'n legends live on 'bout computers gone down,
And the users who call up all fumey.
A caller once said, my computer is dead,
Just before that began actin' screwy.

In the days of iron core, twenty-six thousand K more,
Cost an arm and a leg, was not thrifty.
The users were few, had them no helpdesk crew,
When the codes in computers went squirrelly.

When a hard disk got fried, there was no web worldwide,
Parts were sent in the mail from Wisconsin.
And if air freight you go, to get to either coast,
It came quickly except Christmas season.

So now we have worms and some firmware that's not firm,
And some websites located in Cleveland.
First came Trash 80 and then there came Wang,
And then Intel broke straight through the ceiling.

Connected with wires now they talk the world round,
The internet needed detailing.
And everyone knew that some internet crew,
Would just make these computers appealing.

Next came Bill Gates and the eighty-eighty-eight,
And his DOS on computers was smashing.
The fall of mainframes caused Big Blue much pain,
And the face of Bill Gates had a wide grin.

The internet came, the world went high tech,
Someone has to get out here and lead ya.
From air that was thin, AOL climbed right in,
This smart fella had a bone to throw ya.

Something inspired him, when his users can't log in,
Need a crew to help them out their messes.
This led to incite this new breed not contrite,
Came the techs of the AOL helpdesk.

They call in with woe, for most things they should know,
Some forget that they must turn on power.
Click on the OK, please, sir read your display,
Only one choice there's no need to ponder.

Their IQs way up to about their cap size,
Their stories make great cannon fodder.
Their passwords contain all of their children's first names,
They couldn't think of anything odder.

Errors occur, the telephone rings,
They fix 'em as fast as they trash 'em.
The customer screams in colorful themes,
His logic is really distortin'.

They call and they crow but little they know,
They haven't clue one how to mend her.
Computer's so slow that it hardly will go,
They forget what computers remember.

If it's nasty the call, you still hear them say,
Thanks for calling AOL central.
The user chimed, I called twenty-nine times,
Can I help you, this is Edwin McDonald.

Urb'n legends live on 'bout computers gone down,
And the users who call up all fumey.
Inferior they say, but no manual they've read,
When the codes in computers go squirrelly.