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Song Parodies -> "The Lust of Ms Candy X Cleavage"

Original Song Title:

"The Wreck of The Edmund Fitzgerald"

Original Performer:

Gordon Lightfoot

Parody Song Title:

"The Lust of Ms Candy X Cleavage"

Parody Written by:

Below Average Dave

The Lyrics

The Deadly Sin of Lust, one of 7 deadly sin parodies to the original AmIRight '7' epic parodies. . . check out badave.comfor more by me. . .
She's had Bob and John
and every other guy in town
Of the land known as New York City

She made out with Ted
It's how she earns her bread
While the size of her thighs are quite roomy

Some may call her a whore
She'll make sweet love on the floor
They say Candy X Cleavage had plenty

She'll make love to you
Even in the club's loo
Just as long as you pay her she's easy

I went for a ride
by the end I had cried
I had fallen in love during our fun

But she said that love blows
and it has no cash flow
Within months we'd get bored of the passion

I had come to terms
that her lust it had turned
into something that she hadn't planned on

'Cause on Valentines
When her callers came
They all said that Ms Cleavage was weeping

My face she admired
and her heart had been found
And her love for lust it was failing

While sleeping with Drew
and then some guy named Hugh
She had wished she had stayed here that evening

But sealed her fate
and her heart has to wait
Cause the guy she fell for was gone then

Caught up in her fame
a dangerous game
after she went and got herself tested

When they called her name
She became such a wreck
Cause she caught someone's gonorrhea

Must have been damned
As her cliental ran
She says fellas point at her in laughter

But there's one more spin
Her water was breaking
Cause she carried a baby from Darryl

A letter she writes
and now her life bites
Was the Lust of Ms Candy X Cleavage

She still doesn't know
Where Darryl chose to go
'Cause they turned off her water and power

At night she would pray
someone'd take her away
'Cause now nobody would love her

So she saddled up
and she made out with guys
and she gave her kid up for adoption

It's better that way
Cause the kid with no name
Is now with a family that loves her

She doesn't have goals
or many things
and she's not happily ever after

She just likes to scream
and makes her callers dreams
She makes love, it's the talent that suits her

But deep down below
In her heart it shows
That she wonders how I could have loved her

She slept with John Doe
In the bed she's a pro
But her heart has been lit'rally shattered

'Cause Peter and Paul
in the bathroom stall
Left her feeling empty, she broke down

That night she cried
to be at my bed side
I'm sorry Ms. Candy X Cleavage

Cause my heart has moved on
from your love it has gone
and my lust is for making a living

Superior, I say
I am great in the hay
and I'm neither too fast or too burly
This has been a Below Average Dave production, all right reserved

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   1
 4   1
 5   12

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Ann Hammond - January 07, 2008 - Report this comment
Matthias - January 07, 2008 - Report this comment
Such a sad, sad, sad parody!!! So the 5-1-5 was from me, I actually almost cried during the middle of this, after she wound up Gonnahea, and a child, with no water and power.... Very sad, but still a very good parody.
Jack Wilson - January 07, 2008 - Report this comment
Best title, expected it to be funnier, still loved it!
Michael Pacholek - January 07, 2008 - Report this comment
It wouldn't be an official "Wreck" parody if I didn't at least comment. Sorry, Dave, but this one really was "below average." The key thing to remember is the rhyming structure of the song: AAB, CCB. As in, "The legend lives on" is supposed to rhyme with "from the Chippewa on down" and "the big lake they call Gitchee Gumee" with "the Gales of November come early." I realize those don't quite rhyme: Lightfoot took a lot of liberties. (Another is, "When supprtime came, the old cook came on deck... ") "Coming close" is usually "close enough," but most of your stanza-closers don't seem to rhyme with anything. In the three-line setup you've got here (no problem with that, specifically), the third line in the second "stanza" should rhyme with the third in the first; the third in the fourth with the third in the third; and so on. (I know, it sounds confusing.) I don't want to make this sound malicious, and I know how hard it is to do this one. But it was a key mistake. I won't hold it against you beyond the low rating I gave, but since I know how hard the song is -- it's not just the rhyming structure, it's the length, 14 freakin' verses! -- I made it a 3-2-2. I'm not upset, just disappointed.
Red Ant - January 07, 2008 - Report this comment
Mike already pointed most of what I was going to say about the rhyming - it is AABCCB', B rarely being a perfect rhyme to B', but "close enough" (some verses are AXBCCB, X not rhyming to anything). The pacing is good and it is singable, but yeah, some more attention on the rhyming would have helped. As for humor, well, it's funnier than hearing about 29 guys who died on a ship, so an improvement there. This one is a bit below your other works though.
LadyCupCakes - January 07, 2008 - Report this comment
Sir Dave, You are a true Knight to rescue this Lady of Woe! PS: your burliness makes me prrrrrrr!
Below Average Dave ( - January 07, 2008 - Report this comment
Yes, this one was the most snooze worthy OS that I took on, and the results show. Sorry about the rhyme scheme, believe it or not (Ducks to avoid Michael Pacholek Slap) I didn't even realize there was a rhyme scheme to this one (the song just seems to kept going on) but I promise when it's up for recording I will do major fine tuning on it:) Thanks for your honesty, I'm not surprised it's doing the worst of the 7--though I don't think it's terrible, it is amazingly difficult to keep interest through 14 sleep-worthy verses.
Below Average Dave ( - January 07, 2008 - Report this comment
OOO, Matthias---Ms. Cleavage thanks you for your concern, little nameless is doing very well in his new home:)
Agrimorfee - January 07, 2008 - Report this comment
Definitely was your clinker out of the 7, interesting story marred by inconsistencies that everyone else has already pointed out. I would also point out that some of the later verses should have been placed up towards the upper half of the song.
AFW - January 07, 2008 - Report this comment
I lean toward sexually oriented I support this...

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