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Song Parodies -> "The Techies Of PC World"

Original Song Title:

"The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald"

Original Performer:

Gordon Lightfoot

Parody Song Title:

"The Techies Of PC World"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

The adverts go on 'bout a shop outside town
With "Computers at internet prices"
You can buy their PCs, printers and DVDs
And their "experts" can give you advices
But first time I spoke to their expert..ish bloke
Some Neanderthal just out of stasis
And he so loved the jargon it gave him a hard-on
But he used it in all the wrong places

[I] think his social skills would increase were he killed
What he mumbled, well I barely caught it
Forté, seemed to me: talking (ess aitch) IT
But it seems that his managers bought it
Can't believe that this whelp - he was offering help
And I'd pay now for aid in the future
But I don't believe he could fix a cup of tea
Let alone an old Linux computer

But though I took the piss, and this guy took the bis-
Cuit, with an act that was dog-in-the-manger
Had to stifle a groan - this guy was not alone
For his colleagues were.. shit! even stranger
The girl that he called was less than four feet tall
And was two slices short of a sandwich
I could not help but curse as they both would converse
In an unintelligibabble language

She was kind of weird with her moustache and beard
But she must have had some rare ability
With disks floppy or hard, or plug-in PC cards
Which she handled with awesome dextirity
Yet I nearly dropped dead when I heard what she said
And I thought her behaviour insidious
For it seems she took risks scanning customer disks
And "backing up" all of their videous

Then she'd think it was fine then to post 'em on-line
Well, at least the ones she thought were sexier
A youtube wife's disgrace: hubby red in the face
Underneath some lass with anorexia
Oh, yes, they got their kicks from a-publishing pix
That they'd copied from drives they were mending
Yes, you see all the time lots of porno on-line
...She got bail, but the court case is pending

Yet it turns out that she in some kind of a plea
Told the cops of some movies, illegal
They had found while they trawled... they were oh, so appalled
I mean, who could do *THAT* to a seagull?
And many a cust-omer has found their trust
Being betrayed to these nassty young techies
For they don't care at all they made governments fall
When they got hold of Thabo Mbeki's

These technical souls, talking, looking like trolls
Cause such increase in internet traffic
For the way that they work, yes they think it's a perk
Searching hard drives for pix, pornographic

The ads that you've seen on your big plasma screen
Make 'em sound like the best in the free world
But, consider the risk before you take your disk
To the Techies of P-bloody-C World

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 17

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   17

User Comments

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Rex - November 14, 2007 - Report this comment
B - frikkin' - rilliant.
Kristof Robertson - November 14, 2007 - Report this comment! Absolute freakin' masterpiece, Phil...with jokes tripping over each other for the "funniest" award. I've been to P-bloody-C world enough times to know the pondlife they employ...and I know diddly about IT.
Stunning effort here, mate. 555+++
Jack Wilson - November 14, 2007 - Report this comment
This was HILARIOUS!!!!! Loved it!
alvin - November 14, 2007 - Report this comment
a side splitting story with wonderful pacing and internal rhyming....first rate
John Barry - November 14, 2007 - Report this comment
The lex of the tech monde is drivel.
Below Average Dave ( - November 14, 2007 - Report this comment
I knew last month you were just getting warmed up . .. I Better "Be Prepared" huh? Awesome parody of a not so awesome OS, your rhyme scheme was just fantastic.
Guy - November 14, 2007 - Report this comment
Donut make my hard drive blue? But my face is red from laughing at the sheer comedy of this master of a piece. Leave it to a techie to give good techie. Simply loved it Phil.
Project Sisyphus - November 14, 2007 - Report this comment
Awesome, Phil! Ending of the first stanza, where you're not sure what was used in all the wrong places, is incredible.
stuart mcarthur - November 14, 2007 - Report this comment
it's rare that I actually look forward to reading a parody but Latest Comments led me to this, and I knew it would be good - from the title to the unfortunate seagull, hilarious wordplay and gags, Phil, and ess aitch IT is a great target - 555 (and all in one hour? sheesh)
MrMacphisto - November 14, 2007 - Report this comment
Very nice.. another one of the best today... 5-5-5
Phil Alexander - November 15, 2007 - Report this comment
:-D Thanks, all.
Stu - after throwing out the idea of "The techie called Edmund Fitzgerald" on the messageboard, this one kind of crystallized overnight.. by the time I sat down to write it, there were so many ideas (and I missed out half the cast list, 'cause it changed focus from a menagerie of misfits to their habits instead). Re the "ess aitch IT", for years I've been meaning to get a T-shirt made with "Be quiet, Information Technology in action" on the front, and "Shhh IT in action" on the back. Finally had a chance to use the joke.
Sisyphus - thank you for mentioning that - I was rather pleased with it myself
Guy - "Donut make my hard drive blue" sounds like it could work as a parody on the same sort of theme - going to give it a go?
JB - the perfect title to a TWOTEF parody all about techie jargon...
John Jenkins - November 15, 2007 - Report this comment
Excellent wordplay throughout, but insidious/videous stood out for me.
Peter Andersson - November 16, 2007 - Report this comment
And you've never looked at the pics on a customer's PC, right? ;-)
Phil Alexander - November 16, 2007 - Report this comment
JJ - thanks - I've rhymed videos with hideous before, so it's only slightly original...
Peter - yes, 'cause my software takes pictures... but then, I don't get home PCs for mending (apart from the ones in this home, that is)
Dee Range - November 17, 2007 - Report this comment
After 3 years of PC trouble (Windows and IE) I switched to Mac, and ain't ever goin' back. This is one of the best Wrecks on the site. Great stuff.
Smeg And The Heads - December 06, 2007 - Report this comment
Very, very good. This is what parody is all about. You've lampooned both the OS and your target with original and scathingly funny lyrics.
Peter Andersson - December 09, 2007 - Report this comment
SOTM - The security code says 8BC, I think that was the year they wrote the PC drivers for my printer. Great stuff Phil.
Agrimorfee - December 20, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Very good indeed. I don't know who Thabo Mbeki, is, though.
Phil Alexander - December 20, 2007 - Report this comment
Thabo Mbeki is the president of South Africa (though possibly not for much longer).. an odd sort of character, especially with respect to his views on AIDS.
Matthias - December 20, 2007 - Report this comment
-Originality (B): You've done a whole heck of a lot of computer based problem parodies before in your archives. While this one has a freakshow working, and embrassing Youtube footage (Which won you a Decathlon round). -Pacing (C+): To tell you the truth the chopping of words kind of made it confusing to follow along with the original song, while this was easy to read on it's own. -Comedy (B+): The same old, same old computer parodies done by Phil, but the freak show is what made this parody really stand out in my opinion. I thought that the breaded lady working at a computer shop was pretty funny. -Overall (B+): To tell you the truth I'm kinda getting tired of listening to the same Top 7 over and over and over again each month, which is what kinda brought this grade down, and the fact that you used a typical Phil Alexander topic also brought this grade down, but the freak show really saved it, and the line about the seagull was also pretty funny.
Phil Alexander - December 21, 2007 - Report this comment
Strangely enough, I didn't think of this as a PC-based parody: just 'cause the subjects of this particular freakshow happen to be techies. Re the choice of OS, you reckon I should have entered my "That's Amore" parody instead for this month?
Matthias - December 21, 2007 - Report this comment
Agreed. I really liked that one, because the original song isn't as cliche on Amiright as this one, and I thought the idea was funner.
Red Ant - December 23, 2007 - Report this comment
Favorite lines were "[I] think his social skills would increase were he killed", "I mean, who could do *THAT* to a seagull?" and "hubby red in the face...underneath some lass with anorexia." as well as "expert..ish". I must admit I'm not sure what "nassty" and "dextirity" are... obscure puns or uncharacteristic typos?
Guy - December 23, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM-NOV) Voted and commented on November 14, 2007 -

Donut make my hard drive blue?

To answer your question although late it be, I never gave it another though about giving it a go. I may now. Thanks Phil. Or maybe how about "You Give Good Tech" Care to give this a go?
Guy - December 24, 2007 - Report this comment
SOTM late comment - Forgot to add this yesterday, Phil.

There is no place like
Max Power - December 24, 2007 - Report this comment
Technical support with 5s.
Smeg And The Heads - December 27, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Comment above
Jason - December 27, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I can relate to this after previous experience.
stuart mcarthur - December 29, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) as Kristof said, so many gags competing for best line award here - and I know "seagull" mostly got chosen to rhyme with illegal, but that was one hilarious line - and btw I hope that dwarf wasn't two slices short of a vegemite sandwich
Below Average Dave ( - December 30, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) A month of big 7's and previous successes from other contests make it hard pressed on parodies, because as I said before this one is very good, but what a month.
bobpiecheese - December 30, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Combining two of your favourite topics together was a brilliant idea, and doing it to such an OS nets you extra kudos.
Kristof Robertson - December 30, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above...a complete winner IMHO; having been to PC World too many times, I can relate to the frustration. This has classic written all over it
Mikey Squirrel - December 30, 2007 - Report this comment
SOTM- Epic effort, Jeff. Ah, those kooky freak-show tecchies. I even happen to know a couple myself! Very funny.
Jeff Reuben - December 31, 2007 - Report this comment
A brilliant job, rings true with a tech geek like me.
Jack Wilson - December 31, 2007 - Report this comment
Loved it! See above!
Matthias - March 24, 2008 - Report this comment
I agree with my previous statement. This wasn't a bad parody Phil, not in the slightest, but it just did really stand out to me, because of how many parodies you already have about computers, and the fact that the OS is one of the most boring (and overdone) original songs that a parodist can write, it just didn't stand out from your other SOTM winners.
McKludge - March 30, 2008 - Report this comment
SOTY - I used to work at a computer superstore, so I can relate.

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