At first I was happy, I was ecstatic,
Kept' thinkin' you could never live without me by your side,
But then you spent so many nights thinkin' how to improve your swing,
You grew strong, and you learned how to GOLF and drive long,

And so your back, from that GOLFING place,
I just walked in to find you here with that smirk upon your face,
I should've hid those stupid clubs,
I should've made you rake the leaves,
If I had known for just one second GOLF would be back to bother me,

Go on now go, walk out the door,
Dont turn around now, cause I am not your buddy anymore,
Weren't you the one who called me BERTHA when kissing me goodbye,
Did you think I'd crumble, did you think I'd lay down and die,

Oh no not I, I will survive,
For as long as you know how to GOLF I know I wont feel alive,
You've got 18 holes to play, to change that handicap your way,
But I'll survive, I will survive,
Hey, Hey!

It took all the strength I had not to fall apart,
As you obsessed over Woods and the Ryder Cup,
You spent oh so many nights watching PGA by yourself,
I used to cry, but now I hold my head up high,
Now you'll see me, somebody new,
I've got Callaways and a swing that follows through
And so your face started droppin as I finished a round at par,
Now I'm savin' all my lovin' for a game that's lovin' me back,

Go on now go, walk out the door,
Dont turn around now, cause I cant stand you anymore,
Weren't you the one who called me Bertha when kissing me goodbye,
Did you think I'd crumble, did you think I'd lay down and die,

Oh no not I, I will survive,
For as long as you know how to golf I know I wont feel alive,
You've got 18 holes to play to change the handicap your way,
But I'll survive, I will survive,