At first I was afraid, I was petrified
When the clerk said, “out of ice cream,” prayed that she had lied
And with one more glance I took,
I found a pint she’d overlooked…
Cherry Garcia

And so you’re back from Cherub Land
I see you flitting overhead with all those arrows in your hand
Shooting love darts everywhere
Even at dogs, perhaps a fluke
And all the lovestruck, good and giddy, well they make me wanna puke
Cuz you fly by,
and turn your cheek
Ignoring bullseyes on these men I’ve painted in their sleep
Aren’t you the one who always misses with your aim
Every bachelor for miles?
Not that I’m one to cast blame
Oh no, not I, I will survive
As long as I have flics with Johnny Depp, and I have five
I’ve got all of them to watch
So my bedpost gets no notch, I will survive
I will survive, hey hey

It took all the strength I had not to make a wreck
Of your darts and stuff them down your little puffy neck
And I spent oh so many nights
Just plotting my revenge. Oh but why?
Now I just hold my spoon up high
And you see me, somebody who
Has a pint of Chunky Monkey, okay, maybe two
See I don’t wanna piss you off
This time next year you will return
And maybe fin’ly you’ll be grantin’ me the thing for which I yearn
I will survive, til then, you’ll see
And maybe, with some practice, you might snare a man for me
I’ve got a freezer full of treats
Til then, this creamy bliss
And if it takes a dart in each, I’ll be a target you can’t miss
Oh, oh